Weird news: 10% of you maniacs only have drunk sex

A poll in Britain has revealed that a surprising amount of sex is not sober sex.

Were it not for booze-fuelled sex, 50-60 percent of us wouldn't be here.

DigitalSpy tells us that one in ten British couples have not had sober sex in half a year. Further, half of the couples hadn't had sex last month without the inclusion of liquid courage.

The really interesting takeaway was that two-thirds of respondents were simply not "in the mood" without ethanol-based lubricant. Despite all this liquor-triggered loving, two of five polled felt that having like 100 brewskis would inhibit sexual prowess rather than arouse sexual desire.

While these poll-takers were exclusively Brits, my experiences in New York, Atlanta, Miami, Minneapolis, Jacksonville, Los Angeles, the Bahamas, cruise ships, airplanes, buses, trains and "college," have led me to guess that beer-goggled sex happens at similar rates in North America.

“I'm 100% sure fermented liquids have kept couples interested in each others' reproductive zones since the first time a cave husband left a bunch of berries in the sun for a few days, but it seems like our reliance on alcohol as aphrodisiac is ramping up,” one researcher said.

Perhaps it's the sexy parties in rum ads. Maybe it's debauched non-sensual titillation of the Girls Gone Wild videos. It could be our relaxed attitude towards STIs since the HIV scare of the 90s. Possibly it's a sign of the pending apocalypse. But maybe it's just the way human beings have always propagated the species, as inebriation and copulation.

What say you? How much of your sexual activity involves alcohol? Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that the lion's share of my initial sexual explorations involved some amount of fluid fearlessness.