BWAHAHAHAHA 13 'If the First Night Is So Unbearable, How Can They Last A Hundred Years?'

A man and a woman dressed in traditional Korean clothes. Courtesy of KBS

“Bwahahahaha” is a weekly column that explores the roots of Korean humor through the joke book “Kkalkkal Useum,” originally published in 1916.

During the 1392-1910 Joseon Dynasty, marriages were typically arranged by families, and on the day of the wedding the bride and groom might be virtual strangers.

That’s the set-up for the following joke, in which a bride on her wedding night informs the groom of an unfamiliar wedding custom he’ll be expected to take part in: singing a song in public.

The groom is apparently unaware of the very concept of songs, having never heard one. His mix of incompetence and enthusiasm is a winning comic combination. Although marriage between strangers has become largely a thing of the past, this situation is still relevant for a modern reader as a representation of conflicting expectations and ideas within a relationship.

The basic structure of the joke — the groom thoughtlessly repeating everything the bride says, without having enough sense to know when to stop — is the same as another joke from the sixth installment of this series, “You’re a Complete Idiot.” That joke featured conflict between a father-in-law and son-in-law. Comparing the two, this joke seems a bit less mean-spirited and includes more detailed descriptions of the characters’ actions, creating a vivid impression.

In particular, the contrast between the lyrics of the song and the groom’s tone-deaf bellowing strikes me as situationally funny, rather than purely linguistic humor.

If the First Night Is So Unbearable, How Can They Last A Hundred Years?

A man got married, and on the wedding night the bride said to her groom, "According to the customs of my village, when a couple gets married, the next day they invite everyone in the area to a banquet. At the banquet, the groom has to sing a song so you should sing well to avoid being embarrassed."

The groom said, "Forget about singing well — I've never even heard a song. What should I do?"

The bride said, "In that case, I'll teach you a few lines, so copy me exactly."

The bride sang the first line of a song for him ("The pine needles are fresh and green..."), and the groom repeated the line in his loudest voice ("The pine needles are fresh and green!").

The bride said, "Not so loud," and the groom repeated after her, "Not so loud!"

The bride was getting frustrated, so she said, "Just go into the bedroom," and again the groom repeated, "Just go into the bedroom!"

The bride was getting angry and said, "You’re unbelievably dense," and again the groom repeated, "You’re unbelievably dense!"

The bride was so lost for words that all she could do was smile, and the groom smiled back and said, "Since you're smiling, I guess I must be pretty good at singing."

G.S. Hand is a graduate of the Translation Academy at LTI Korea and winner of the Fiction Grand Prize of the 53rd Modern Korean Literature Translation Awards, and has a master’s degree in Modern Korean Literature from Korea University. He lives in Seoul.