By Bae Ji-sook
Staff Reporter
Here comes Seollal, or Lunar New Year's Day, a notorious period for many wives suffering from ``holiday syndrome.''
Married women surrounded by their husband's families and having to cook, clean and serve all day long. Sometimes, couples get into rows because of the ``unfairness'' in the ways they spend the holidays.
But it's not only women stressed out nowadays. Men are also under pressure to walk the tight rope between the stressed wife and his own family.
However, experts say with some little help from the husband, the couples may lessen the stress and have pleasant holiday.
Share the preparation experience: Going to supermarkets together may not be a physical help to the woman. But Prof. Choi Kyung-sook of Eulji University Hospital said it gives bit of relief to the women in that they are not alone. Also, by looking at the actual shopping, it will let the man appreciate what his wife would be doing for the holiday.
Take care of the children: Most wives are doubly stressed when feeling they have to take do extra housework and care for children while men enjoy eating food and watching television. If the husbands take care of the children_ keeping them away from playing around the kitchen or cleaning the mess they made_, it would lessen the holiday burden.
Give complements and massages: By simply rubbing around the wife's shoulders before going to bed and telling them how much her dedication means to the family, the husband may get some extra credit.
``I was more angry to see my husband showing his back and snoring when I finished all the work and came into the bedroom exhausted, than the work itself,'' a 28-year-old housewife Choi sun-hee said.
``Many women know their work is inevitable. Even so, they want others to know that it is a hard work and they want consolation and support,'' Choi said.
Delegate the visiting order for parents: In many cases, there is tension among couples over visiting orders for the parents. Usually they visit the paternal side before going to the maternal. However, in many cases, it takes long time at the paternal side and when they make it to the other family, the holiday mood is nearly over.
Choi Yoo-sung and Lee Mi-suk, married for 16 years, set a strict rule for the period. They spend the holiday eve till holiday lunch at Choi's side, then spend the holiday dinner and the day after at Lee's. ``Being punctual is important. If we stick to this rule, we feel like we're respecting both sides,'' Lee said.
Spend free time individually: psychiatrist Choi Kyung-suk said the couples' spending time individually on hobbies after the holiday may bring back the energy. ``Rather than trying to talk about what they have done during the period, just try to relax and do your own thing when getting home,'' she said. Sharing encouraging comments or complaining how hard it had been will be better received then, she said.