Articulating gay-ness in Korea

By Jason Lim

Back in the late 1990s when I spent a few years working at an English language institute in Seoul, something that almost seems like a rite of passage for Korean Americans, there were no gays in Korea even though I saw them everywhere. Let me explain.

Having grown up in New York City, seeing gay people, especially gay men, was not an especially surprising event for me. However, when I first saw a gay man in Korea, it almost seemed as if he didn’t realize that he was gay. While I admit that you can’t judge a person by his or her cover, my “gay-dar” was pretty tuned and it was very quickly obvious that some Korean guys were gay. What surprised me was that they themselves ― in many cases ― didn’t seem to grasp the concept of their own sexuality. Or perhaps they didn’t yet have the vocabulary and terms to articulate their sexuality in ways that made sense to their own mental maps.

I fully understand that I am engaging in supreme condescension in stating that a heterosexual man would have a better understanding of a gay man’s sexual identity than the gay man himself might. However, if that gay man wasn’t allowed to even explore the abstract possibility or conceptual tools to articulate what he was feeling, then it’s not a huge stretch. At least, that was my experience at the time.

Of course, as months went by, I realized that there was an underground gay scene in Korea right across the Pagoda Park in Jongno-gu where gay men would meet up for trysts at an old movie theater. I am sure there were many other such locations scattered throughout the country that were equally sad, seedy and muzzled. Gay people existed, but they were invisible.

Then something happened in the year 2000. Hong Seok-chun, a well-known TV personality, came out as gay. As chronicled in popular media, Hong was blacklisted, ostracized, threatened and generally made into a persona non grata. Then something amazing happened. Hong became a very successful restaurateur in Itaewon and returned to TV, becoming even more popular than before. While Hong was only one person, gay people became visible through him. Hong’s courage allowed them to be seen by mainstream society.

So, when I saw all the controversy surrounding the leading presidential candidate Moon Jae-in’s response about not supporting gays, I actually thought it was another positive inflection point for “gay-hood” in Korea. Homosexuality has actually become a widely talked-about topic at a presidential debate in Korea. While Moon’s response was less than ideal, he did say that gays shouldn’t be discriminated against although he didn’t “recognize” or “support” homosexuality.

But it was the Justice Party candidate Sim Sang-jung who came back with the most memorable line of the debate when she said, “I don’t believe that homosexuality is something that can be supported or opposed. While I am a heterosexual, I believe that the human rights and freedom of sexual minorities should be respected. That’s what a democracy is.”

The uproar about Moon’s remarks even led him to offer an apology for causing pain to the sexual minority community. He also further clarified his position by saying that he doesn’t support having gay men in the military because of concerns about sexual abuse and other potential side effects. He also stated his opposition to gay marriage saying that the Korean society hasn’t yet reached a collective consensus on the topic and more public debate needs to take place before the issue can be successfully legislated. On the other side, the conservative candidate Hong Joon-pyo claimed in one of his campaign rallies that it wasn’t enough for homosexuality to be made illegal; it should be severely punished as it goes against the will of heaven.

Now that gay people are actually visible, and homosexuality has become a legitimate and serious topic of discussion, it’s time to tackle the underlying misunderstanding that the majority in Korea still seem to have about the nature of homosexuality. Discussions about making homosexuality legal vs. illegal or even the discussion about supporting or opposing homosexuality assume that homosexuality is a lifestyle choice or a conscious behavioral preference. Obviously, they don’t know any gay people or never grew up with one.

I still remember going to summer camp in junior high and noticing that some summer camp friends were just gay. The difference wasn’t that apparent pre-puberty, but, afterwards, they just were. Anybody with eyes could see that this was who they were. It wasn’t a conscious choice these kids made as they passed from 7th to 8th grade.

I am not breaking new grounds in stating the obvious that homosexuality is not a behavior that needs to be shaped through punitive means or a disease that needs to be cured. But it’s a recognition that needs to sink in before we can get to that next level of social maturity in Korea. As Moon said, perhaps Korea needs time for more public dialogue. Or perhaps it’s courageous leadership that Korea needs.

Jason Lim is a Washington, D.C.-based expert on innovation, leadership and organizational culture. He has been writing for The Korea Times since 2006. Reach him at jasonlim@msn.com, facebook. com/jasonlimkoreatimes or @jasonlim2012.