I never fail

Whether I’m speaking to an audience, guiding younger professionals, or teaching my university classes, one question comes up repeatedly: What have been your biggest failures? People look surprised when I tell them — I don’t fail.

South Koreans tend to react most strongly to this claim, which makes sense given the cultural context here. Korean society views failure as shameful. Students and workers alike face intense pressure to maintain flawless records and avoid any mistakes. Many remain skeptical: How can you never fail?

First, I approach every experience as something to learn from. Former anti-apartheid leader Nelson Mandela said, “I never lose. I either win or learn.” Leadership expert John C. Maxwell advises, “Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.” Thomas Edison has been attributed with saying, “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that will not work.”

The tech industry in Silicon Valley embraces a similar philosophy through the mantra “fail fast, learn faster.” Companies in that ecosystem view unsuccessful attempts as valuable data. Each failed product generates insights that strengthen the next iteration.

After returning from Silicon Valley, a South Korean CEO I worked with dramatically told staffers, “Okay, everybody, we are going to fail harder from now.” If we were going to fail, he said, it would be better to fail spectacularly because it also meant we could succeed spectacularly.

Similarly, the CEO of Erie Insurance, Terry Cavanaugh, put “Fail Harder!” on a slide when speaking to students, to emphasize that great leaders stretch themselves and learn from failures.

Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, credits her father with teaching her to embrace failure. He would ask at dinner, “What did you fail at today?” He would even give her a high five for her most embarrassing failures.

Michael Jordan said, “I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I have been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Second, I do not leave room for failure because I engage in multiple activities at once. Almost two decades ago, a radio station terminated my position as a talk show host after deeming my perspectives too controversial. I was fine because the radio show was one of several active projects at the time.

Some initiatives may wind down over time, while others accelerate. This represents natural evolution rather than defeat. What served a purpose at one time may simply have completed its useful life.

Management consultant Peter F. Drucker wrote in “Managing Oneself” that people should not limit themselves to one career or single identity. He advised preparing for a second career in one of three ways: by moving into a new field, by developing a parallel career through part-time or volunteer work, or by launching a social enterprise.

Third, when I mentor others, I encourage them to reframe failure. Tina Seelig has her students at Stanford University write a “failure resume” to reflect on their biggest mistakes in personal, professional and academic settings. For every failure, each student is expected to describe what he or she learned from that experience.

Henry Ford is attributed with saying, “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”

Having said that, some outcomes do constitute genuine failures. Repeating the same mistakes without adjustment qualifies as failure. Violating ethical principles represents failure. Refusing accountability is failure.

I am always reviewing my activities. My Freedom Speakers International cofounder Lee Eun-koo used to call me “Mr. Changeable” because in her mind, once you make a decision, you stick with it. But I am always evaluating whatever I am doing to make sure it is still worth doing. Twelve years later, she says she still does not agree with my approach, but now she understands it.

When people ask me how I handle failure, I first deny that I have failed, then I encourage them to reconsider the question itself. Instead of labeling outcomes as failures, ask what you learned and what comes next. Build multiple projects or interests so no single outcome defines you. Keep evaluating whether what you are doing still makes sense.

There is a famous saying that goes, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Treat every outcome as a starting point rather than an ending, and you may find that you never fail either.

Casey Lartigue Jr. (CJL@alumni.harvard.edu) is chairman of Freedom Speakers International, adjunct professor in public speaking at the Seoul University of Foreign Studies, co-country director of Giving Tuesday Korea, a member of the board of directors of the Korea-America Association, a columnist with The Korea Times, a member of the Harvard Graduate School of Education Alumni Council, and an alumni admissions ambassador at the Harvard Graduate School of Education.