A letter to my younger self

Gim So-yeon was the Grand Prize Winner of the 22nd “I am from North Korea” English Speech Contest, presented by Freedom Speakers International on September 6, 2025 in Seoul, Korea. Courtesy of Freedom Speakers International

Dearest So-yeon,

I’m writing this letter for two reasons: first, to tell you something important, and second, to ask for your help.

You went through so much when you were young. You couldn’t choose your country or your parents, and you were born in North Korea. By the time you were five, you were already facing the harsh realities of being born North Korean.

I know how lonely and scared you were - when even your parents, the ones you were supposed to rely on and be loved by, left you behind in North Korea before you were 10 years old. In your struggle to survive, you were moved from one relative’s house to another.

You were young, but you will never forget that time. I know how unfair it felt when your cousin would take you to the train tracks at night and beat you.

But try not to hate her too much. Life was hard for your relatives, too.

I know how terrified and hopeless you felt at just 11 years old when you were thrown into prison, after you were captured trying to escape.

What kind of country throws 11-year-olds into prison? You even had to ask permission to use the bathroom. When the toilet was clogged, it was always you who had to clear it with your bare hands. You couldn’t bathe, and lice became your constant companions. Malnourished, you never knew when death might come, but you held on.

I know what it felt like as a child to face freezing winds at minus 30 to 40 degrees and to endure constant hunger in North Korea. You swallowed your pride, scavenging bits of apple peels from the ground. I understand how hungry you were to have done that. You even felt excited at seeing a little apple peel, hoping it might ease your hunger. With trembling hands, you brought it to your mouth.

And when you were coming down the mountain after gathering wood, you found candy someone had dropped. Even though it was crawling with ants, you picked it up, and felt grateful. You brushed off the ants and let the sweetness melt on your tongue. That sweet taste gave you a tiny bit of comfort for a moment.

What I want to tell you is this: none of the pain and suffering you experienced was your fault. Never forget that you are a precious person who deserves love. I love you, then and now, and I always will.

I know how unfair and painful those times were for you, and how much you cried. I understand the meaning behind every tear. Because of you, I am who I am today. And because you endured, I’ve become even stronger. Thank you so much, and I love you.

Dearest So-yeon, I am now 30 years old. I seem fine on the outside, but there’s still a little child inside me who has not fully healed. I know how unfair and difficult it was. But it’s okay now. I’m here to protect you.

I can’t change what happened to us when we were young. But I wanted to ask you: can I share our story with others? Together, let’s share our story, offering comfort to others.

Somewhere right now, children are experiencing pain, and adults are also suffering trauma from their childhoods. Let’s offer them even the smallest bit of comfort.

Dearest So-yeon, let’s share our experience so others suffering know they can survive, too. If they feel loved, with a little less pain, they may see the world as a slightly better place.

With love,

So-yeon

Gim So-yeon was the Grand Prize Winner of the 22nd “I am from North Korea” English Speech Contest presented by Freedom Speakers International (FSI). Her mentors for the contest were FSI volunteer Michael Young and FSI co-founders Casey Lartigue Jr. and Lee Eun-koo.