Pet peeves

There are many frequent subjects of complaint with me. However, the top one is drivers using smartphones without hands-free Bluetooth. The other day, one person was swerving outside of their lane, even driving on the borderline of the road. Firstly, I thought perhaps it was an inebriated driver, but on passing, I could see a lady was holding a smartphone close to her face with her left hand and steering with her right hand. I have observed frequently the manual and visual distractions of such accident-prone drivers. I wish I had the supernatural ability to shut their phones down in the middle of their conversations.

Paraphrasing one of author Maya Angelou’s essays, "If you can’t change something, then change the way you look at it." I met her many years ago when she visited our university to discuss one of her books. Remembering her words, I sought to change my perspective. My mental point of view about the relative importance of drivers using smartphones as like the lady mentioned above is subdued. I try to think she could have received a shocking emergency call, causing her to swerve the car. I try to think that perhaps some sort of medication was the cause. Most importantly, no accident occurred and I am not the police.

However, distracted driving in the United States causes over 3,000 deaths per year and in approximately 400 fatalities, at least one driver was using a smartphone. My point of view is that the loss of life due to roadway fatalities is unnecessary and that is why I am bothered by this reckless disregard for the safety of others from distracted driving that directly affects vehicle control and reaction time.

Pet peeves generally decrease as one gets older because tolerance increases. I think parents and school teachers have an experience advantage that many others do not have. They are able to put up with trying behavior without flinching or becoming openly uncomfortable. They can stand much more than I. However, I am learning that it is not my job to change the world. Human nature is not always consistent. I see now that humans are quite impossible to predict. Sometimes the behavior is favorable, other times not. Nobody has things just as we would like them. I don’t wish to be a fault-finding, peevish, grumbling grouch — I’m sure that I have some habit that peeves others.

Often pet peeves have components of cultural differences, relationship norms or workplace expectations. Sometimes pet peeves indicate a lack of social refinement or rudeness and inconsiderate public behavior. Examples of universal pet peeves are cutting in line because it violates fairness, littering because it's unsightly, not saying "thank you" because it shows lack of courteous respect and making loud noises because it disrupts shared public space.

Some pet peeves may not be a big deal. However, if there is friction between values and someone else's behavior, it is better not to transgress. It is better to regard the sensibilities of others and keep the peace.

The author (wrjones@vsu.edu) published the novella “Beyond Harvard” and teaches English as a second language.