No one is an exception

There is a movie about former U.K. Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher titled “The Iron Lady.” The famous actress Meryl Streep plays Thatcher, portraying her both as the young daughter of a grocer and as an aging, seasoned politician. When I was a high school student, I heard the news of England winning the Falklands War through Thatcher’s bold leadership. There may be different opinions about Thatcher, but she is generally seen as having ruled Britain strongly from a neoliberal standpoint.

However, while watching the movie, what stood out to me the most was not the able, competent young politician, but rather the retired, elderly woman with dementia living at home — someone who would sometimes see her already deceased husband as if he were still there. She had gone from being the “Iron Lady” to an old woman who could do almost nothing without help. No matter how great and powerful Thatcher was, she was not exempt from the suffering caused by old age.

My mother also has dementia. She often doesn’t know exactly where she is — whether she’s at home or in a hospital. Even when I tell her something, she can’t remember it and asks about it again just a minute later, repeating the same question over and over.

A few days ago, I had to go to the general hospital to check the new results of my mother’s blood tests. She had been hospitalized there for about three weeks. Suddenly, serious problems were discovered in her heart and lungs, and she was moved to the intensive care unit. The first time I went there, it had been a rainy Saturday evening in May. I was very tired and trembling with fear because I had taken my mother to three hospitals that day. The lobby of the general hospital felt dark and desolate, with only a few people around.

When I went to the hospital again this time, a small music concert was being held in the lobby. Some patients, their family members and staff were sitting on chairs or standing around the stage, listening to the choir’s performance. I also sat in an empty chair and began to listen to the piano and the singing. I heard a few familiar songs. Then, a strange but warm sound caught my attention. To my surprise, it was a small ocarina. The song played on the ocarina was none other than “What a Wonderful World,” made famous by Louis Armstrong.

I was completely astonished. I thought to myself, in a hospital filled with grave diseases and pain, how can one say, “What a wonderful world”? Breaking through the silent hospital air, the soft music resonated. Next, a song titled “Mother” began to play. The lyrics, “Words cannot express it all, mother’s love,” gently seeped into my heart. They reminded me of my mother, who seemed to be nearing the end of her life. I thought about what I should say and how I should show her my feelings. I wanted to share with her the wonderful, warm world of love and care.

No one is exempt from the suffering and sadness that come with old age. Korea has already become a “super-aged” society, with older adults making up more than 25 percent of the total population. It is no longer uncommon to see people in their 60s caring for their parents in their 80s. But even as the poverty rate among older adults remains the highest among OECD nations, there are still not enough effective government measures or policies to properly care for them.

Due to my mother’s hospitalization, I realized that the cost of hiring a nursing caregiver for older adults in hospitals is extremely high, and that admission to a geriatric care hospital is also very expensive.

Something more should be done for those in old age, from which nobody is exempt. Individuals, families, local communities, religious groups and the government should put their heads together to find effective ways to ensure that warm care and dignified aging is possible for everyone.

Lee Nan-hee studied English in college and theology at Hanshin University.