From 'ajumma' to 'ajumeoni'

Nearly 30 years ago, I visited South Korea to meet my friend and his family. I toured Seoul and visited Busan. In the course of that first trip, I kept running across older women, perhaps not grandmothers but mature women nonetheless, whom I was told were called “ajumma.” They struck me as strong women by their behaviors, conversation and what I observed about them.

I wrote about ajumma as middle-aged women, many married or divorced, working outside the home and raising children. Narrowing my working definition to those who are not of middle-class or upper-class status, like housewives or wealthy women, I found that ajumma lived a life of double or triple burdens, including low pay, discrimination in obtaining and keeping work, lower health indices and psychological burdens. Ajumma provided much of the child care and household labor in and around the homes of families.

Simultaneously, I observed their determination and their significant economic power in terms of earning income and spending it. They and their younger sisters exhibited a growing willingness to divorce and to delay marriage and also to have fewer children in response to broader social trends in South Korea.

Recently, I searched for the status of middle-aged women in South Korea. I found the situation for the women has changed, but much remains the same.

First of all, “ajumma" seems to have gone from a term of general acceptability and currency to one viewed in many circles or settings as pejorative or rude. This was somewhat true in the 1990s, but now the term “ajumeoni”, the formal version of ajumma, or “imo,” meaning “auntie,” are preferred. I think it’s a good thing to move toward the formal term or another acceptable term, if the term ajumma offends women.

More generally, the sources I reviewed indicate that middle-aged women experience better health due to advances in South Korean medicine. Their access to health care has improved. There is greater availability of child care. Women are not expected to live and work around their mothers-in-law, near their son’s childhood home. They may have hobbies and activities of their choice outside the home.

Ajumeoni in South Korea also experience greater autonomy, fewer incidences of emotional abuse from in-laws and more opportunities for social support and for their own development. These changes reflect, among many factors, the declining incidence of multi-generational households, the prevalence of nuclear living arrangements, the delay of marriage and decline in Korean birthrates, and greater social awareness of the rights and needs of women. They also reflect women taking action for their own self-interest, individually and collectively. More women, nearly 20 percent at a total of 61 people, serve in the national legislature at present.

However, much remains the same. Among working ajumeoni, many continue to toil for low wages, experience being the last-hired and first-fired, work in temporary and low-benefit occupations and enter old age alone and lonely. The plight of ajumeoni, who become a "halmoni," or grandmother, is a serious social issue, similar to that of elderly Korean men. The growing individuality and diminution of extended family relationships shows up in the way elders, and ajumeoni who are reaching those ages, are left alone and live isolated lives.

Much in this story of change and continuity would ring similar bells for analogous groups of women in our world. In particular, it seems that the enjoyment of social autonomy is correlated with values, income and wealth. Many women may wish to access life pathways that are closed to them by relative income and wealth attainments or those of their families. Many others are married and left to care for their children and do most of the work in the home. Has the growing autonomy of women really changed the pervasiveness of traditional gender norms in South Korea? Not yet, it seems.

South Korea is an advanced nation with many strengths and accomplishments. However, like many advanced nations, its attainment of equality by gender lags behind its other achievements. I’d hazard a guess that many of the threats and opportunities facing South Korean society stem directly from the relative mistreatment of and life conditions for ajeomoni. The lingering faces of traditionalist, male-dominated culture continue. This likely varies by region, with urban and more educated men and women exhibiting less of it, and vice versa. The ajeomoni and imo of today are people on whom the strength of Korean society has been based and stands strongly today. Can we not do better for South Korea’s middle-aged women? It could only redound to the further advancement and fulfillment of the spirit of Shin Saimdang and her sisters today.

Bernard Rowan (browan10@yahoo.com ) is associate provost for contract administration and academic services at Chicago State University. He is a past fellow of the Korea Foundation and a past visiting professor at the Hanyang University Graduate School of Local Autonomy.