Art of conversation

As we live in this world, we always talk to other people. So how can we speak well and lead a happy life?

First, if we want to have a good conversation, we must listen to the other person. In India, people say "Achcha" when talking to each other. It means, "I am listening to you, so what you say is right." In other words, when we have a conversation, it is important to respond by nodding your head to indicate agreement with what the other person is saying. The basis of conversation is to listen to what the other person says without judging it.

Second, when we have a conversation, we should not try to win over the other person. When we have a normal conversation, we always try to win by persuading the other person. But can we persuade the other person? Usually, we cannot persuade our children or our wives at home, therefore, we cannot persuade others.

So, it is better not to talk about religion, politics and ideology. For example, when we meet friends or relatives, we feel embarrassed when the other person talks about the results of the election. Because we don't know what region the other person is from or whether they are a feminist or a chauvinist. So, when you talk about such a sensitive topic, arguments are bound to happen. This is because people usually do not change their consciousness and attitude no matter how much you talk about them. In the New Testament, when Jesus was resurrected, people's attitudes or consciousness toward him did not change, except for his 12 disciples. There are so many people in our lives that we have to ignore. Out of 10 people we meet, we can be happy if we get along well with only three, so there is no need to give our heart to seven people who are not compatible with us.

Third, if we want to communicate well, we must learn how to lose in conversation. We cannot continue to be first in life. If we try to win at anything, we will be broken like a dry tree. Our society cannot compromise because we have not learned how to lose from a young age. The conversation doesn't work because we don't make concessions in the conversation.

Fourth, when we have a conversation, we should not judge by listening to only one side. For example, when another couple argues, we should listen to both sides of the story. It is difficult to judge right or wrong if we only hear one side of the story from the wife or the husband.

Fifth, we must end the conversation well. As we live, there are times when differences arise between friends. Even if you are close friends, there are times when you have to go to court and be judged by a judge due to property issues. After the verdict is passed, you should part ways and congratulate each other for each perons respective futures. You should not say curse words. In the Bible, we can find who was the worst at speaking and who was the best during Israel's over 2,000-year history.

When Jesus was unjustly crucified, the thief on his left said to him, “If you are truly the savior, save yourself and try to save me too.” Then Jesus did not answer. On the other hand, the thief on the right of Jesus said, “Lord Jesus, remember me on the last day.” Then Jesus told him "Today you will enter paradise with me." With the words we speak, we can bring good fortune or misfortune. If you look at Sirach in the Bible, it says, “Before investigating, find no fault; examine first, then criticize. Before hearing, answer not, and interrupt no one in the middle of his speech.” So, we should not scold others until we know more about them. We must speak words that save lives and become people who sow seeds that bear good fruit.

Park Sung-ik (parksi48@naver.com) is a retired English teacher from Pungmoon Girls' High School.