How much do I need to be happy?

By Lee Nan-hee

Wherever I can see the sky, wind, grass, trees and flowers, I appreciate all of them. It doesn't matter if the grass is an unnamed weed and the flowers are common little ones. Even if they are dandelions covered with dust in a big city like Seoul, I like them.

Only when I try to listen carefully, then I can hear birds chirping in the big city. Only when I am interested in listening to birds such as sparrows and magpies, only when I earnestly want to listen to them singing, and only when other things are silent enough, I can hear them.

I am sitting on a bench in a small park near my house. All of a sudden, I think to myself. I am the happiest person now, I don't envy anyone, I am not jealous of anyone. Red roses which were in full bloom in May and June were so beautiful. Words could not express their beauty. I used to feel speechless watching the dark red roses. Though, the red rose petals have now withered and gone. There are almost no red petals left. However, green leaves on the rose trees seem to have flourished more vibrantly. Looking at the dark green and round-shaped leaves of the rose trees, famous sayings came to my mind. There are times for flowers to bloom and times to wither away. There are times to sow seeds and there are times to harvest.

The same goes for humans also. I might be withering away little by little like those rose petals. It seems that the splendid red petals have dropped and withered in my life, as time goes by. My skin has lost elasticity and I gain more wrinkles in my face day by day.

So many years have passed since I first found the small park. Scenes and memories of myself coming here and sitting on this bench go through my mind. When I was here a year ago, five years ago, 10 years ago. I don't remember exactly when, but once I was having a hot green tea latte in my pink tumbler on this bench. It was still a cold winter's day with lots of gray trees with no leaves. I was not laughing much, or smiling much. I used to be worried and concerned more about my life as well as the world. Since then, my eyesight has deteriorated. I am sitting on the same bench, but now I cannot see the trees and people clearly without my glasses. My hair is also growing white little by little.

However, there are aspects that become more sturdy and robust like the vivid dark green leaves. I don't get angry or upset as easily as I used to in the past. I don't try to find fault with or judge others harshly. I don't try to excruciate or harrow myself as well as others at the expense of friendships or happiness. I try to be generous, understand, accept and acknowledge not only myself but others also. I try to be happier, more pleasant, more thankful and more loving. It might not take much to be happy and content.

Happiness doesn't depend on current conditions. Many people, myself included, are likely to think that it takes huge amounts of money, lots of accomplishments and success in society to be happy and satisfied. Therefore, people can be easily deceived. No matter what the conditions are or the social status I have, I can be happy here and now. On top of that, whoever is now happy will be happy in the future.

Lee Nan-hee studied English in college and theology at Hanshin University.