Who is my family? What is family?

By Lee Nan-hee

I have continued to have an interest in issues of family, marriage and women's lives in Korea for over a decade. While I had to struggle to figure out what significance or relationship would exist between pivotal Christian doctrines and the lives of many ordinary men and women at church as well as in society, I focused on the concept or term of God's household (or family) appearing in 1 Timothy 3:15 of the New Testament.

Actually, when I first learned of the term, “God's household,” I was very much astounded and excited. I was hoping to look into some insights or answers from the bible to questions of gender inequality as well as class inequity. These verses read as follows: “... you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God's household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.” These verses convey clearly that God's household or God's family is nothing but the church of the living God.

According to these verses from 1 Timothy, members of churches are supposed to be real family members, not just churchgoers or strange, awkward neighbors. Then, God's church would be a place and field where not only church members but also anyone who wants to join them, feel at home literally, eat, live together and share their daily lives with one another. I cannot wrap my head around that. Because churches in reality are mostly far, far from that kind of family.

Aside from those verses from 1 Timothy, other verses on family are those written in the Synoptic Gospels of the New Testament. Namely, for instance, in Matthew 12:48-50, I can read, “Jesus replied to him, who is my mother and who are my brothers? Pointing to his disciples, he said, 'Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.'”

I was thrilled to read them. How in the world is this possible? Without any blood or kin relationships, how can people be called mother, sister and brother? Can I love and care for members of my church just as I love my father and mother? Can I share my money with them just as I do with my father and mother? …Endless questions came to my mind. Despite such differing, diverse conditions of current society, one thing seemed to be obvious, simple and plain: Jesus' sayings and teachings to do the will of the Father in heaven. The heavenly father's will is also succinct and simple. It is to love one another as Jesus loved us. When we practice these teachings, we will become God's family, calling each other sister and brother.

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Human history and lives in Korea as well as all over the world have been filled with various kinds of hardships, catastrophes and tragedies, such as war, invasion, famine, hunger and struggle. Human beings have yearned for well-being, happiness and prosperity. But in reality, most human beings have gone through alienation, detachment, trial and tribulation. I am not an exception.

That must be the reason why folks want to have a real, loving family. Everyone must be feeling lonely, scrambling to survive, make ends meet and achieve their own goals in their short lives. However, life is tough. That is why the theme of family is still important and even more critical in feminist theology. Nobody can live alone. We all need to have someone or some group of people to keep on living and working in our lives.

Dr. Lee Nan-hee studied English in college, and theology at Hanshin University.