Nature versus nurture

By Hyon O'Brien

A virtuoso American actor best known for his portrayal of the king of the fictional African nation of Wakanda in the movie “Black Panther” died last month at age 43 after privately battling colon cancer for four years. Chadwick Boseman's other iconic roles included the legendary baseball player Jackie Robinson in “42,” singer James Brown in “Get On Up” and Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall in “Marshall.”

Boseman was born in 1976 in South Carolina. His mother was a nurse and his father worked in a textile factory while running an upholstery company. His parents must have given him some hidden genes for acting but it was his teacher at Howard University who mentored him and nurtured his dream in the film industry when he majored in film directing. This teacher, the actress Phylicia Rashad, persuaded her friend Denzel Washington to fund Boseman and others to attend an Oxford Mid-Summer Program run by the British American Drama Academy in London. This is one example of “nurture” that strengthened and enhanced the role of “nature”.

Our two daughters are products of bookworm parents and are lifelong voracious readers themselves. However, they didn't turn into “readers” overnight. We nurtured them since they were babies. We introduced them to the enchanting world of books. We also exposed them to architecture, gardens and interior design by taking them to castles, stately homes and chateaus during their growing years. We are happy to report that our nurturing with countless museum and house visits have produced great results. Our daughters are doing the same thing for their children. Whenever we are in Washington, D.C., we try to take them to museums, galleries and stately homes. It provides great bonding time while opening their eyes to new things that schools are not covering in their textbooks.

I have one regret from my time in Korea. My father sent most of his nine children to college. When it was my turn to enter university in 1965, he told me he was willing to pay for my college education but only if I could pass the entrance examination for the English Department at Ewha Womans University. He made it clear that there wouldn't be another chance if I failed that most competitive examination.

I really wanted to go to medical school but he rejected that because of the extra years of tuition, and I think he liked the prestige of Ewha. He told me I was fortunate he was willing to send me to college even though I was a daughter. There was no discussion about my natural gifts, inclination or desires. Of course, I studied as if my life depended upon it, which of course it did. I knew my life would be bleak if I didn't get further education beyond high school. My only prospect would be to get married as arranged by my parents.

I personally think I would have been an excellent psychiatrist if I had been given the chance to go to medical school. I seem to have an innate instinct for empathy and am naturally good at listening to people. I think I could have helped many people to recover from mental wounds and traumas. That part of my nature wasn't nurtured as I might have liked. But I benefited from the other nurturing I received in college, and have progressed from editing the Ewha Voice to writing this column for The Korea Times.

I understand that the trend of pushing one's children into certain disciplines in college still persists in Korea. Parents' pursuit of Ivy League schools and the popularity of medical and law schools still linger because they perceive that this is the only way escaping from the family's current status. It is understandable for parents to wish for a better future for their children. But must they do that at the expense of crushing the spirit of their natural gifts and talents? Isn't this a violation of human rights?

I'd like to see a day our society is free from the fixation on social status according to the school one attends, the profession one is in and the type of car and house we have. In trying to achieve artificial notions of “success” we may suppress our natural gifts and deny the opportunities for those gifts to thrive. We have the responsibility to encourage, cultivate and nurture those natural gifts and talents to the fullest. We are at our best when we are engaged in what we are good at and what we are happy doing.

Fred Rogers comes to my mind as a great nurturer. This Presbyterian minister-turned-TV celebrity hoped that “there was some way of using this fabulous instrument (TV) to nurture those who would watch and listen.” Thank you, Mr. Rogers, for breaking down gender and racial barriers and helping children deal with their emotions. You've nurtured us to be better people.

Let's look around each day for the opportunity to nurture others who need our helping hands. Remember to give small acts of kindness with a big heart.

Hyon O'Brien (hyonobrien@gmail.com) is a former reference librarian now living in the United States.