'Nuna' and 'hyeong'

By Choi Shi-yong

Every country has its own inherent words for expressing respect to one's family. Similarly, Korean people have peculiar callings: “oppa,” “eonni,” “nuna” and “hyeong.” They are intrinsically accustomed to using these words among family members, since they started to form relationships with elder sisters and brothers at an early age. People with a different cultural mindset from Western countries may have a hard time to grasp the true meanings of these words and associate them with the proper warmth, even if they have lived for a long time in South Korea. On the other hand, the designations may have originated from Confucian society which stressed the importance of hierarchical discipline to sustain the community.

A British female professor who has worked at a university in South Korea over 20 years jubilantly said at the dinner table, “I have a Korean oppa!” Her long residence might have encouraged her to think of an elder Korean brother. I figure he might have treated her like family when she felt lonely and supported her when she was in trouble. He might have done her a big favor while she has gone through a challenging time, being far away from her homeland. She took pride in a trustworthy friend, using a positive connotation.

I have a friend from South Africa who has settled down in Gwangju for 10 years. Since he started to study Korean, I could find the enormous progress of his second language. The fluency and accuracy of the target language has been way beyond my expectation. He might have devoted much of his time to socializing with the natives and practicing the desired language. When I exchanged messages with him on Facebook, I jokingly ask him to call me “hyeong.” I thought a natural command of the Korean language came with a profound understanding of the culture. Soon I realized I was wrong. Later I heard he felt weird about what I asked. I assume he might know “hyeong” has a heavy meaning. Otherwise, he might feel protected. This could be more serious, considering he spent his whole life in a society which values individual territory.

I have a Filipina sister whom I met at church. She has been married to a Korean man for 20 years. As we met regularly every Sunday and joined the church activities such as potluck and outreach, we have become close. Just like I call an elder Korean woman my sister, I felt like calling her “nuna” as an expression of friendliness. However, she refused this, because she thought it was too intimate. I am still curious about her reaction. I am sure that having lived for 20 years immersed in a culture is enough to fully understand the culture of a second home. When I consider her perfect Korean and ability to socialize with Koreans, I wonder why she did not accept it as natural.

Last not but least, I recommend my expat friends try using “oppa,” “hyeong,” “nuna” and “eonni,” when mingling with Koreans. They feel loved and respected. Eventually they will treat you with kindness and generosity. I guarantee your success in human relationships in the Land of the Morning Calm.

The writer is an English teacher in Gwangju. Write to freddd@hanmail.net.