Why humans have no tail?

By Nam Sang-so

Men in ancient times saw many animals freely running around in the fields. Being smarter than the animals, primitive man learnt to hunt the animals. Having a slight tendency to be lazy, men thought to domesticate the animals and eat them, according to anthropologists. They found sheep were the easiest to tame among others. They were a suitable size, not too big and not too small, obedient, and rendered all of their body. They had the behavior of forming a group which reduced a lot of breeding efforts.

Then stray dogs started living at cave entrances eating thrown out animal bones by human. The dogs knew that humans had weak teeth and couldn’t eat bones and had a habit of throwing away left over food. They noticed that men threw away more bones when they wagged their tails ― the harder the more bones. The relationship was similar to the one between lion and hyena but hyena didn’t learn the tail wagging act. Dogs also saw humans liked an obedient and submissive attitude, and they practiced it enthusiastically as their lives depended on it.

Dogs have survived by being loved by humans. For hundreds and thousands of years they have learned how to be loved by humans and love the master and the unintentional knowledge has long been incorporated into their genes. The most important thing to be loved by human was, as the dogs have mastered, how to express their feelings of joy and sorrow; exaggerating joy, calmly for sorrow, simply for pleasure, and not to show any anger or fear. We humans should learn from dogs, especially those politicians who wet their eyes so easily for no particular reason.

Dogs know how to identify their master who loves them from a feeder who doesn’t have warm heart. They have a keen sense of detecting the power structure in the human family ― wagging harder at the master of the family than to others. The dogs also know how to submit themselves absolutely to the master and not to talk back. They wisely decided not to learn human language. “This food tastes terrible, you cheapskate,” or “take me for a walk,” or “don’t pull the leash while I’m sniffing,” and so on.

Many politicians and bureaucrats for the same reason prefer to have dog-styled, faithful yet not too smart secretaries and subordinates. The presidents of developing countries would never appoint a smart guy as chief of military but a dull and flattery giving general.

The father and son Kims in the North knew this principle well – men love dogs because they obey for anything. The Northern generals too are well aware of the dog-tail principle. Since the showy tail is not available, they practice clapping their hands with a forced smile in front of the mirror at home, and try to hide their rebellious thoughts deep in their huge caps. Young Kim, who seems to have a keen sensibility, however, detects a microscopic sign of defiance despite the surrounding generals’ desperate efforts. Jang Sung-taek and Hyun Yong-chul were among the poor hiders.

Humans had tail, anthropologists predicted, and it degenerated over time as it was useless and we now have the remnant of a bone called a tailbone. But I think men’s tails disappeared because they wagged them too hard until they broke. Look at the way our brethren in the north applaud their leader. The scenes in Pyongyang are evidence to me of how our ancestors broke their tails.

The writer is a retried architect whose email address is sangsonam@gmail.com.