There are all sorts of problems in the air

By Nam Sang-so

When female flight attendants were still called stewardesses, Korean Air was called KAL. The airline monopolized direct flights to Saudi Arabia, carrying construction workers from Gimpo International Airport, which was spelled Kimpo back then. I was once on a flight to Dammam and marveled at the way the stewardesses treated their passengers.

As soon as the plane’s doors had closed for departure, cabin crewmembers asked the passengers near the front of the economy class section to stand up and move quickly to the empty seats further back. They spoke to the passengers as if they were herding goats.

An airplane shares the same issues as a ship at sea when it comes to maintaining stability - in both cases there is pitching, rolling and yawing. Stability is at its greatest when the centers of gravity and buoyancy overlap.

On that flight many years ago, the captain may have intended to increase the plane’s lifting force by locating its center of gravity behind its center of buoyancy. But using the passengers?

Another aviation anecdote reminds us that humor is not always the best medicine. A man on a United Air flight that had just left Narita Airport for San Francisco learned this lesson soon after the plane had completed its ascent.

“A bomb!” he told a stewardess, pointing to an overhead bin. He spoke in accented English. The American flight attendant wasted no time in reporting the “joke” to the captain, who decided to return to Narita. The man was arrested on the tarmac, and there was no bomb.

When the incident occurred, the plane was loaded with 100 tons of fuel so it could cross the Pacific. An airplane usually consumes roughly 15 percent of its fuel during takeoff and ascent, 80 percent during cruising and 5 percent during landing. The plane still had 85 tons of fuel in its wings and under its belly when it had to turn back, making it too heavy for a safe landing. The pilot discharged 80 tons of fuel over the sea.

According to a pilot’s memoir, United Air thought about suing the man for $400,000 to cover the cost of the wasted fuel ― but, knowing he could not pay, they settled for $40,000. Don’t try to impress a flight attendant with a funny story.

The U.S. National Transportation Safety Board ruled that pilot error was the main cause of the Asiana Airlines crash in San Francisco last year, but identified Boeing 777’s auto-throttle and autopilot flight director systems as contributing factors. This shows that automatic systems can cope with difficult situations they have experienced in the past, but have trouble dealing with new kinds of emergencies. Computers can make decisions almost like humans do, but like humans they can also make mistakes.

It takes about 11 hours to fly to New York from Seoul when the plane rides on the westerly jet stream, and some 13 hours on the return flight over Russian and Chinese skies. There are two captains and one co-pilot in the cockpit, and a pair is always at work while the other person takes a break or sleeps in a room behind the cockpit. Airline pilots like to lie down. By the way, the pilots’ meals are prepared in different kitchens in order to prevent them from getting food poisoning all at once.

I still remember my grandson’s childhood friend, who drew a crayon portrait of his pilot father for his kindergarten homework ― always lying in bed.

The writer is a frequent flyer. His email address is sangsonam@gmail.com.