Meeting old friends in new places

By Michael L. McManus

It occurred to me long ago that a smart airline would seat you next to someone like you, so that you might strike up a conversation and have good memories of the flight. Airlines know some things about you, for sure. If you belong to a frequent flyer program, they may know just enough.

I once was on a flight from San Francisco to Frankfurt, Germany, seated next to a famous company’s chief technology officer. You would think maybe I would take this opportunity to find out some gems about what new technology was just around the bend. No, it was golf talk all the way.

I was shocked, about a year later, when there he was again, seated right next to me on the same flight. He told me he flies that route only about four times a year. Chance alone would seem to have better odds. Yet there are times too when we meet brand-new people seated next to us and a friendship starts.

That happened to me recently on the way back to Seoul from California. The couple was coming to Seoul for about 10 days for an international convention ― their first trip to Korea. At the end of their stay, I asked permission to ask some interview-type questions for a future article.

Of course, there were lots of pleasant surprises and the usual compliments about the Korean people. Koreans’ courtesy and respect for elders were mentioned. The modernity of the city and its transportation infrastructure stood out. The main thing the couple noticed was the hospitality.

This is not your “average American couple.” John and Gwen (names changed to respect privacy) have been married for more than 35 years and have grown children and grandchildren. They live in Southern California and travel extensively. They both ride motorcycles for fun and have a small airplane for medium-length journeys.

John is a general contractor and Gwen works for the state government. One of their great passions is American Sign Language. This takes time to learn, and one thing that surprised me is that are many systems of signing. What works in Brooklyn may not work in Belgium.

I had the good fortune of witnessing John and Gwen in action, literally, at Incheon International Airport. We were all headed through the usual process of passport control, baggage claim and inspection. The queues were long.

John and Gwen recognized a friend from their international network across the airport in another long line. They started signing with him, and it was awesome to watch. I was tempted to try to interpret some of the signs, but I could not follow at all what was being said. All I know is that it was so beautiful to watch.

You see, John and Gwen are devout members of a church that ministers to those who cannot hear or speak. I could see the passion to reach out. I could just imagine the time it took them to master the language.

With about 12 hours-plus on the plane to get acquainted with these two, I learned about signing. They taught me that it is a world unto itself, something very few of us can understand. They had no idea of the gift they gave me at the airport when they demonstrated that skill.

Then we cleared customs, finally, and broke out into the open door of Korea. For them, a new world. For me, home. I invited John and Gwen to our home during their busy week to enjoy, of all things, some good Korean food and a few Belgian delicacies mixed in.

I was uncertain about inviting them, at first, because I did not want to interfere in their very busy schedule. But as it turns out, it was a relief island in the middle of their week where we could enjoy food and wine and reflect on cultures and differences and universal truths. We all need friends. We are not alone and we enjoy welcoming others, wherever we are.

During the long flight, I thought this couple was remarkable. Like there should be a reality TV show about them and their family and what they all do. I teased John and Gwen about being the stars of a show called “The Anything But Average American Family.” Gong. I believe the idea has already been taken. What a chance they missed not to star John and Gwen.

So, John and Gwen, by the thousands and maybe hundreds of thousands, here’s to ordinary people like us. Here’s to travel, here’s to biking into the desert, here’s to flying your own plane and here’s to all you do. And not least of all for your handshake of friendship and your hands reaching out to help some hear who cannot. What you guys do really counts.

I am glad the airline put us together. They were right.

Michael McManus writes regularly for The Korea Times. He is an adjunct professor at Gachon University, Sookmyung Women’s University, and Hankuk University of Foreign Studies. He welcomes email at mcmismism@aol.com.