It's that time of year again. Play ball!

By Michael L. McManus

It’s baseball time again. I love going to games. It is a sensory experience. I love the smell of fresh popcorn mixed with cigar smoke, mixed with hot dogs.

So here is a theoretically possible but mostly satirical account of the globalization of three of America’s top professional sports. They are: Major League Baseball (MLB), the National Football League (NFL) and, the most likely to go global soon, the National Basketball Association (NBA).

Taken all together, these industries account for many billions of dollars in revenue for many. Merchandise royalties alone are in the billions. It is my contention that the world is ready, the investors are there, the money is there, the audiences are there, etc.

So what is missing? What is standing in the way of rapid expansion?

This whole thought process started a few days ago when I met a neighbor who was proudly wearing a New York Yankees official baseball hat.

I asked him if he was a Yankee fan, and he said he was not but liked the look of the hat! Over recent years in my own global travels, I realize that I have seen a surge in MLB, NFL and NBA apparel.

Most popular seem to be Los Angeles Dodgers, Pittsburgh Pirates and Chicago Bulls. The caps are the most frequently seen. It is quite amusing.

I am a lifelong Pittsburgh Pirate fan, having been born there. When I see someone wearing the Pirates hat, I ask them if they like the team.

I get mostly blank stares. I am convinced that certain names and logos are the things that matter most, much more than any affinity for the city or team. It is the look that counts.

There is little rhyme or reason for actual team names. Some are closely related to something actual about the city. The Minnesota Twins come to mind. They play in an area known for the “Twin Cities.”

Milwaukee has long been proud of its beer industry, thus the Milwaukee Brewers. I suppose we could say the same about Seattle with the Seahawks and the Mariners. Yet we have names that make no sense whatsoever.

The Oakland Raiders, Golden State Warriors and Detroit’s Lions and Tigers are examples. In Detroit’s case, the only Lions and Tigers are in zoos.

One I’ll never understand is the Oakland Athletics baseball team. Its mascot is a baby elephant. Figure that one out. Some are real mysteries: the Boston Red Sox, and Chicago’s Cubs and White Sox. Then, there are some cute ones. The New Orleans Saints as in, “When the Saints Come Marching In.”

Some city teams choose names that are gentle and fun, like the Los Angeles Angels. Some are really confusing like the San Francisco Giants and the New York Giants; which city has taller people, I’m not sure. Some make perfect sense, like the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers.

Overall, cities choose either friendly and cute names, or “bad boy” rough and tough names. We have names that would scare away anyone but a true fan: Bears, Tigers, Lions, Raiders, Buccaneers and Pirates, to name a few.

So, what stands in the way of a rapid expansion of the MLB, NFL and NBA into cities in Asia, for example?

Let’s focus on Asia cities for a moment. I think a new approach might be taken to attract the younger generations in particular to Asian Major League Baseball expansion.

To play this out, let’s see what might be good names for the new generation of Asian city team names. First, let’s look at some of the “bad boy’’ names that might stick. For example, we could see: The Beijing Great Stone Wallers, The Shanghai Slippery Eels, The Taipei Tricksters, The Hong Kong King Kongers, The Tokyo Takeovers, The Singapore Sling Shots, The Seoul Sell-outs, The Bangkok Bankrobbers, The Pyongyang Boomerangs and The Manila Martyrdom

But this could be too harsh. “Bad boy’’ names are really not easy to love. So, let’s go to the list of sweeter names, maybe a little more acceptable, designed to put a smile on your face. And if the name can put a smile on your face, you may just adopt one of these teams as your own and buy a hat.

So here goes my list of a slightly more loveable professional team name for Asia’s major cities. Imagine a professional major league with these names: The Beijing Gift Buyers, The Shanghai Sweetbreaths, The Taipei Temptation, The Hong Kong Safe Harbors, The Tokyo Tie one on-ers, The Singapore Silk Slippers, The Bangkok Beerboys, The Seoul Deal Sealers and The Pyongyang Partiers.

And of course, last, but not least, The Manila Vanilla

There is a cry for creative marketing talent, and creative names. The baseball talent is there, the big money is there and television systems are waiting. So what’s wrong?

So, the truth is that the crisis with names and what makes sense for names may be prohibiting expansion. Would that be amazing? When I hear of two top-name teams in Taiwan, the Monkeys and the Elephants, I want to fall over laughing.

So let’s help it along a little. I would love to see a game between the Taipei Temptation and the San Diego Padres. A new set of morals may emerge.

Play ball.

Michael L. McManus is an alumnus of the Wharton School (UPenn) and Cornell. He currently is a guest professor at Gachon University, Hankuk University of Foreign Studies and Sookmyung Women’s University in Seoul. He can be reached at mcmismism@aol.com.