Age is more than a number

By Shelton Bumgarner

I turned 40 earlier this year and the event forced me to re-evaluate my life.

I find myself looking back upon the major events that to take place in my life. The biggest thing to happen in my life, besides going to college, was arriving in South Korea on July 24, 2004. I can’t believe it’s been nine years since that momentous event.

I am no longer in South Korea, but it remains in my heart to this day. I love Korea and think about it nearly every day. I think about it so much, in fact, that I have begun to write a novel that fictionalizes my many adventures in South Korea.

It’s called “The Battle of the Old Free State” and it gives me a chance to explain - in greatly dramatized form - what happened to me when I co-founded “ROKon Magazine” in the summer of 2006 with Annie Shaprio. The magazine is long-dead and forgotten, but its story is amazing and interesting. I believe some stories demand to be told and the drama that was ROKon Magazine is one of them.

I would never have thought to start a novel, but for turning 40. Something about turning 40 has rattled me to the bone. I am half-way, at best, in my life and I am going to have to put up or shut up when it comes to doing something with my life. Besides writing a novel, I am really interested in starting a rock band. It would be a lot easier to do so if I was still in Seoul, but I’m stuck in America for the time being.

When you get my age, you have a history that you have to overcome. People look at you in a certain way and expect you to do certain things a certain way. I still find myself wanting to start a band, despite the obstacles. That is probably one of the more annoying aspects of turning 40 - it’s like the rules have changed on how to live your life overnight without warning.

I think back to all the fun I had when I was in Seoul and realize that was just a brief moment in time, never to be repeated. I’m older and wiser now and things just wouldn’t be the same, even if I did return.

Another thing that has really forced me to address my age is the use of an anonymous chat service called “Omegle.” The gimmick of the service is if people don’t like what you’re saying; they just hit a button and go to the next person. It is used mostly by people much younger than me and they drop me like a hot brick the moment I tell them my age.

I don’t consider myself old, but I guess 40 is ancient to someone half that age. And don’t even get me started about the video feature of Omegle. Young people make it clear to me that they think I look like an old man the moment they see me.

But I am trying not to let all of this get to me. The key thing to do is to keep in mind that I am now in the “prime of life” and I have a good 20 solid years in me. I can finish that novel, start that band, whatever I want to do. It is just a matter of believing in myself. I can’t dwell on the past, that’s over. I have to think about the future and how I squeeze the most out of every moment of my life.

Age is more than just a number and you have to deal with the consequences, regardless.

Shelton Bumgarner, co-founder of the English journal “ROKon Magazine,” now lives in Richmond, Va. He blogs at https://migukin.wordpress.com and may be reached at migukin@gmail.com.