By Andrew Salmon
Dear Leader!
Felicitations to you and your Glorious Son, the focus of all our dreams! My deepest respects to Eternal President, Kim Il-sung! Glory to the Undefeatable North Korean People’s Army! And may our Beloved Republic last a thousand years!
You don’t know me personally, though I think of you always. I am in Seoul: a sleeper agent under deep cover for two decades. I have never been activated. With no mission, I am of no use to Our Folk.
This is why I take the risk of communicating directly with you. I hope this missive reaches you. It contains important information that I fear is not reaching you through your walls of advisors. The tide of history is turning against our Sacred Mission.
It is March: spring will soon bless our peninsula. Last March, something happened in the West Sea. It is that which I want to bring to your attention. The People’s Navy made a bold tactical move. But it was a grave strategic error.
I am talking about the sinking of the ship Cheonan.
Many Koreans died in that attack. And a diver died trying to rescue them ― yes, there are some brave Koreans, even here. But many of the Puppet Folk did not believe the Lee Myung-bak Traitors’ Clique when it claimed that a People’s Navy submarine attack had been responsible. Many raised questions after the Traitors’ Clique published its preliminary report on the sinking.
Alas! Since the full report has been published, those doubts have been erased. While our Blood-forged Allies in Beijing support us in the United Nations, even they do not argue against the research. Moscow, too, is silent.
But still: we had months ― months of opportunity; months to leverage that uncertainty ― before the final report was delivered.
I want to raise a key question about our strategy.
Even here in Seoul, the Japanese are hated! None of Our Folk can ever forgive them! Even here, every teacher, every historian concurs on this! No newspaper, no politician ― not even the GNP Traitor Clique ― dares deny it! (GNP stands for the Grand National Party, the governing party in South Korea).
Herein lies our opportunity, for our emotions are united: The 38th Parallel carves across our land, but cannot divide Our Folks' hearts.
These, then are questions I ask of the Peoples’ Navy admirals:
Why did our submarine sink a ship in the West Sea?
Why did our submarine not sink a ship in the East Sea, patrolling off the Dokdo islets?
We Koreans are spirited people: when our emotions are unleashed, the world trembles!
If a mysterious submarine had torpedoed a puppet ship off Dokdo _ which the Japanese impudently call “Takeshima” ― Seoul would have been ablaze with protest! The Korean Race, both North and South, would have demanded war! The Seoul-Tokyo-Washington axis would have been smashed!
I understand that you want to drive a wedge between the Yankees and the Chinese Comrades ― and this happened when the reckless Yankees drove their “Carrier Battle Group” into our West Sea. Brilliant! But even so: striking in the West Sea has less emotional value than striking in the East Sea. We must be crafty!
I write this to you, because I feel great fear. The Southern Puppets may hate those devils across the East Sea ― yet they are becoming ever closer to them, ever more like the accursed enemies of our ancestors.
In Seoul and Tokyo, they share the same political system, this so-called “democracy.” Both capitals are allied with Washington. The empty TV broadcasts and facile pop singers of Seoul are similar to those of Tokyo. Japanese youth and Puppet youth waste their lives playing childish games on cell phones and computers. They don’t know what it means to struggle in life, to fight for a cause, to suffer cold or hunger.
North and South, the Korean Race share one blood, one language. But in all else, the Puppets and Japanese become ever-more similar: in their systems, their lifestyles, their experiences and their aspirations.
And our strategic horizon may become ever more constricted. Our Blood-forged Comrades in Beijing’s Politbureau side with us, but their people too, are changing. Sometimes, here in Seoul, I meet these “new” Chinese.
These are not the Heroic Volunteers who fought shoulder-to-shoulder with us in the furnace of war. No. They are becoming more and more like the Puppets: They think only of filling their stomachs, of buying toys and trinkets, of an easy life. Some even study in the land of the Yankees!
In 1950, your father, the Great Marshal, unleashed Sacred War to unify our unhappy peninsula. That war has never ended, but its fronts have shifted. The field of contention is no longer military or political. Increasingly, it is diplomatic, economic, commercial and social. Our Glorious People’s Army can never be defeated in battle, but our Beloved Republic is losing on every other front.
A new strategy is essential. I hope this balloon note will reach you and when it does, I hope you will take my humble words as suggestions ― not criticism.
Signed in blood ― “Kim 666"
Andrew Salmon is a Seoul-based journalist and author. He can be reached at andrewcsalmon@yahoo.co.uk.