Bittersweet taste of life
By Gulliver D. Alumbro Jr.
Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things. ― Marcus Tullius Cicero
Ever since I was born, I have had trouble remembering stuff and where I put things. I easily forget birthdates and gifts and names though not usually in that order. It is a strikingly uncanny skill not to remember. It was so natural. Forgetfulness stuck like glue.
In dating and relationships, women seem to have an amazing skill for remembering all things perfect and any of man's faults, inconsistencies or short-comings. They seem to have a hard time recollecting the good things men do for them. Not only can they instantaneously recall a precise moment, month or year when one messed up or forgot an anniversary, they even remember the sun's twilight descent when it happened.
Precious relationships become shaky and disastrous when birthdays are forgotten. Birthdays are really hard to remember: 365 days, take a pick. Comparatively, men exclude and delete impertinent details from their memories. Our minds are constantly free falling or in cruise control. We subsequently forget things not worth remembering.
Once, in a Logic 101 class, the professor suddenly spouted a stream of seemingly German poetry which caught everyone's attention off guard. He translated: ``Sooner or later, your memory will fail you." Ergo, the need to write ― notes, things to do and remember, plans in life and how to realize them. Success initially requires drafting dreams in black and white.
Before the advent of GPS, somewhere on a drive, I often found myself lost. It is excruciatingly disappointing to be lost. However, those experiences are actually some of the peaks, memorable and fun, in life's highways and byways. We may have forgotten what exactly transpired on a certain trip elsewhere but hardly can we forget details about the trip when we got lost somewhere. Some of the highlights of our journeys in life are those when we took the wrong turn or the wrong path on a forked trail.
Likewise, the ability to forget can be favorable to some extent. Children who experience immense fear, (i.e. scolding from parents), eventually revert to sleep mode. Entering slumber land may be nature's way of protecting their fragile psyche. What would life be if we remembered every minute detail of pain, despair or loneliness? Anger, resentment and grudges stem from remembering unpleasant memories or experiences. Forgetfulness may be more of a blessing than a curse.
Certain medical studies on Alzheimer's disease, which has no perfect cure at present, reveal that lawyers, doctors, writers and teachers are the least probable to suffer from brain degeneration. People who continuously practice their profession even after retirement have higher memory retention skills than others. In the golden years of life, the memory subsides, falters, and fails. Ideally, retirees should indulge in activities involving mental stimulation.
Life is tough and relentless in demanding from us the right to exist, in order to relish with equal tenderness and passion, the simple pleasures in life so often neglected. One should be content with what one has rather than desiring things unattainable. The mind, being a special complex and powerful tool, is utilized best when it simplifies solutions in determining problems. In simple things, after all, happiness can be obtained and appreciated.
Thus, life will always maintain a certain sense of equilibrium between euphoric experiences and unpleasant ones. Concurrent to the symmetry of remembering and forgetting, life will constantly be bitter-sweet. Essayists profess that there is a Shakespeare in every one of us ― the conviction of a heart to warrant even tragic-love. We long for love though we know that tragedy may befall love. Yet we fall in love anyways in the belief that love conquers life.
Memories imprint and remind us of where we came from in the past, who we are in the present and what we ought to be in the future. It is brilliant to remember, it is not uncommon to forget.
The writer is a food technologist, a bachelor of law and currently teaching conversational English at Sisa English Language School in Gyeongsan, North Gyeongsang Province. He may be reached at gulliverkorea@yahoo.com.