By Hyon O'Brien
A random act of kindness is a selfless act performed by a kind person to either help or cheer up a random stranger for no reason other than to make that stranger happier.
A simple example of a random act of kindness is, when paying at a toll booth on a highway, to pay the toll for the car behind you as well (obviously this doesn't work with Autopay).
My husband and I experienced our first unforgettable random act of kindness in January 1971. To celebrate our first wedding anniversary, we had taken the overnight ferry from Busan to Shimonoseki and were going through the immigration process to enter Japan and spend a week there.
We fell into conversation with three people who were standing ahead of us in the line.
They turned out to be ``jaeil-gyopo," or Koreans residents in Japan, Mr. and Mrs. Nam, who were returning from visiting their family in Korea for the first time since they had left for Japan during Japanese colonial rule and where at the same time celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary.
In their late 40s, they had been living in the Osaka area since they were teenagers. Their Korean was not as good as my American husband's, a fact that amazed them to no end, and they decided to adopt us right there and then.
They had brought their car with them, which is why they were on the ferry, and insisted that we ride with them, even though we were total strangers. Along the way, they bought us lunch and dinner, and when we arrived near their home in Takarazuka near Osaka that evening they further extended their hospitality by housing us for the night, saying it was too late to go to a hotel.
We met their four children ― two sons and two daughters, who were closer to us in age. They were very impressed by my husband's Korean-speaking ability and this created a great stir among other relatives who quickly gathered to come witness.
To cut a long story short, 37 years later in 2008 we are still close friends. That random act of kindness resulted in a long history of friendship between our two families. When new family members such as sons-in-law were added to the Nam family, they were expected to accept us as part of the whole family package.
In New York, in Hong Kong and in Korea, wherever we moved, members of the Nam family would drop by to see us. We in turn made numerous visits to see them in Japan, including Mr. and Mrs. Nam's 50th wedding anniversary, which was also the 25th anniversary of our meeting in Shimonoseki.
Over the last three years living in Korea, I have been the happy recipient of many random acts of kindness. Most people who meet me somehow discover within a short time that I am not much of a cook. So in the food department I seem to be showered endlessly with a variety of items.
I have a very close friend whose house has a back garden stocked with vegetables that she plants in April. I have never been lacking in fresh organic vegetables over the past three summers thanks to her kindness.
One friend supplies kimchi, another seven-grain cooked rice, and yet another deliciously pickled sesame leaves. I finally had to buy a small kimchi refrigerator to accommodate the constant flow of food donations.
In the clothing department, I also seem to inspire people to make donations. Friends sense that I don't seem to shop for clothing and that I don't adorn myself with brand name things. So guess what I get? Brand name scarves and clothing. I suspect they are embarrassed to be seen in my company.
All the people who have demonstrated random acts of kindness to me over the years are now seeing their examples finally being repeated by me.
The other month, I was strolling through a history museum with an Australian friend and an American young man with a small backpack struck up a conversation with her.
I ended up talking to him too. We discovered that he was teaching English in Japan and on impulse when he found out that he had a free weekend suddenly, he took a ferry to Busan and a train to Seoul.
Not prepared to pay more than $100 per night for a modest lodging, he confessed that he spent a night at the Seoul Railroad Station. Of course, he came to our house for the second night in Seoul. He was able to take a shower and talk with us over a Korean meal. The following morning he returned to Japan.
Another random act of kindness happened on Boracay Island in the Philippines some years back. As our younger daughter and I were walking on the beach, a young man approached us and asked us to take a picture of him, and we did. He lingered to talk. I sensed that he seemed lonely.
A small voice in my head said, ``Ask him to dinner." He was delighted to join us. My husband, who was reading a book at our hotel nearby, did not question why we had a stranger in our midst for our family dinner.
During our visit, I discovered that he was a Californian who had come to Boracay to spend time alone in an effort to sort out complex feelings regarding his relationship with his father who had died suddenly of a heart attack at an early age. We invited him to join us the following day for snorkeling and a beach picnic of coconuts, grilled chicken and fish.
Some months later, I was not surprised to see him arrive at our doorstep in Hong Kong where we were living at the time. It seemed natural to greet him as if he were one of our own children.
Now eight years later, he is happily married with two children in Los Angeles as an attorney practicing law. When our younger daughter went to law school it inspired him to do the same. And he has resolved his issues over his late father.
Indeed, random acts of kindness can sometimes be a scary thing to do with a total stranger under unfamiliar circumstances, but when practiced with discernment, we can acquire life-long friends, life's unexpected bonuses and blessings. So let's not be afraid to follow our hearts when they prompt us.
Hyon O'Brien, a former reference librarian in the United States, has returned to Korea after 32 years of living abroad. She can be reached at hyonobrien@gmail.com.