'Introvert parties' in Seoul offer quieter way to connect without alcohol, noise

A self-introduction card sits on a table during an introvert party at a party room in Yeongdeungpo District, Seoul, June 6. Before talking, participants write answers about themselves in categories such as lifestyle, movies, books, work and travel. Korea Times photo by Jung Ye-rim

The question on the card sounded simple, but it silenced the room: What does it mean to live authentically?

On June 6, inside a dimly lit party room in Yeongdeungpo District, western Seoul, quiet pop music played as six people sat around a table.

"Wow, that's hard," someone sighed, breaking the silence.

One person cautiously answered, "For me, it's not caring about other people's judgments and not lying to myself."

Another participant said growth complicates the answer.

"I think living authentically means a comfortable state, but growth always comes with difficulties. Because of that, I also worry whether living authentically is always good."

The exchange sounded more like a philosophy class than a party. But the people in the room had gathered to meet others at a "Deep Talk Club," one of Seoul's growing number of for introverted people. These quiet social gatherings are emerging as a deliberate alternative for young adults seeking social connection without the exhaustion of conventional nightlife.

Participants pay an entry fee to meet strangers, placing the events within a broader boom in paid social gatherings. However, unlike typical parties built around loud music and high energy, organizers design these events to put introverts at ease. They adjust the rules and even the lighting to suit introverted tendencies.

The events focus on prompting meaningful conversation using tools like self-introduction cards and discussion topics about life and personal values. To keep the conversation focused, some events restrict or ban alcohol.

Parties without the noise

The phrase "introvert party" may sound contradictory, but the format is now an established part of Korea's social gathering culture. Munto, an interest-based small-group community app, lists introvert parties alongside wine parties, board game gatherings and speed dating. On Instagram, users have uploaded more than 500 posts with the hashtag "#introvertparty." Because introverts are generally less likely to post such content, the actual market is likely much larger.

A promotional poster for Sayu Club, a Seoul-based gathering for introverts / Captured from Munto

As with many social gatherings, participants often attend introvert parties to look for love. These events keep the main advantage of a party — the chance to meet several people at once — but take the pressure off by discouraging overt displays of romantic interest and focusing on serious conversation.

Kwon, a participant at one gathering, said dating was his primary reason for joining.

"My main reason for attending is to find a romantic partner," Kwon said. "In an ongoing relationship, you have to be cautious with your words. But at a one-time event, I can be completely myself with no obligation to see them again."

Drawn to deeper talks

The appeal of introvert parties extends beyond romance. For many, the format makes socializing far more efficient and less exhausting.

Heo, 33, described himself as an extreme introvert. He said the gatherings suit him because a single outing allows him to meet multiple people and have meaningful interactions. He also praised the event's design.

"It was comfortable because the lighting was not too bright, and I could choose whether to speak and what topics to discuss," he said.

Participants attend a gathering for introverts at a cafe in central-eastern Seoul. Captured from Uyeonhan Agit's Instagram

The questions used at these parties invite attendees to reveal their thoughts rather than perform socially, asking about recent emotions, a photo that best explains who they are and what they have been interested in lately. For introverts, who often focus inwardly, pleasure can come from learning how other people think and what they value.

As someone who enjoys deep conversations, 27-year-old Kim expressed satisfaction over how the gatherings offered a chance to hear others' thoughts.

"I joined because I was curious about what people my age care about and how they see the world," Kim said. "Just as I'd hoped, it was great to hear so many different perspectives."

Lee Min-jin, 29, appreciates the shift in focus.

"I prefer introvert gatherings where you can have genuine conversations in small groups, rather than large events focused on alcohol or entertainment," Lee said. "I enjoy hearing other people's perspectives."

The format attracts more than just introverts. Choi Ji-won, 26, leans extroverted but seeks out the quieter atmosphere.

"I am on the extroverted side, but I like the comfort when conversing with introverts," Choi said. "You can have a calm conversation without excessive reactions. I like its vibe that maintains a moderate distance and respects personal boundaries."

Organizers created these spaces because introverts also want to express themselves and meet new people, though not in the loud, fast-paced environments that dominate mainstream social life. Tae Kwan-young, who runs the gathering Uyeonhan Agit — a name meaning "accidental hideout" — said his own temperament inspired the events.

"I’m an introvert myself," Tae said. "Even introverts have a desire for self-expression and a need to meet, connect and share ideas with others."

Tae said he felt frustrated that many social meetups rely on fast-paced, superficial interactions, leaving only vague impressions of the people met and stories shared. That dissatisfaction led him to plan small-group gatherings centered on conversation.

Ha, 33, who operates another gathering called Sayu Club under the nickname Manhattan-dong Resident — a nod to Seoul's neighborhood districts — said attendees often jokingly refer to themselves as a "gathering of refugees of large parties." He explained that people who felt alienated after standing around like wallflowers at noisy, large-scale social events frequently seek out introvert parties. Participants are primarily drawn to the small-group format and the assurance that everyone gets a chance to speak.

Ha added that the return rate is high, with more than half of the attendees signing up again in some cases.

However, the very nature of these gatherings presents a distinct challenge. Because everyone is meeting for the first time and the events lack a traditional "life of the party," awkward silences frequently settle in. Breaking the tension falls entirely to the host.

An image generated by artificial intelligence

"The role of the host is important," Ha said. "I always make an effort throughout the gathering to ask questions that will help participants open up."

Han Dong-kwon, 35, who runs the gathering Introverts' Night, noted similar operational hurdles. "Since it can be difficult for participants to bring up a new topic or lead the conversation, I continuously provide content worth thinking about," Han said.

Less pressure, more connection

The rise of these structured, lower-pressure gatherings also fits into a wider debate over dating culture in Korea and other parts of Asia. The BBC World Service podcast Asia Specific recently asked whether changing the way people date could help address the region’s low fertility rates, as governments across Asia try dating initiatives, financial incentives and other measures in the hope that more couples will lead to more births.

The podcast framed dating itself as part of the challenge. Having children still often depends on finding the “right person” to date and marry, but in high-stress societies, the pressure around relationships can make failure feel costly and leave some people more hesitant to connect.

One-time social gatherings reflect a growing desire to build relationships without that pressure.

Introvert parties function as a filtering system within this high-pressure landscape, helping people easily find like-minded individuals without the exhaustion of traditional dating. Features designed to ease anxiety — such as diverse question cards and a comfortable atmosphere — are highly welcomed by introverted participants.

Participants attend an introvert party at a party room in Yeongdeungpo District, Seoul, June 6. The screen suggests light opening topics such as “Where are you from?” “Today’s TMI,” meaning a small piece of unnecessary information, and “Why did you choose your nickname?” Korea Times photo by Jung Ye-rim

However, experts warn that this curated comfort comes with psychological trade-offs.

Lim Myung-ho, a psychology professor at Dankook University, said introvert gatherings can serve as a source of psychological stability for people who struggle to build relationships. But he cautioned against over-reliance.

"If you only meet people who are exactly like you, your experience of forming relationships in new environments and with strangers could suffer," Lim said.

Kwak Keum-joo, a psychology professor at Seoul National University, said the trend reflects a tendency to choose personally meaningful encounters rather than unnecessarily expanding one's social circle. Yet she echoed Lim's concerns about limiting social exposure.

"If the pattern of selectively meeting only people like yourself continues, your social circle could shrink," Kwak said.

She suggested that people should consider how "uncomfortable encounters and differences can offer opportunities for growth."

This article from the Hankook Ilbo, the sister publication of The Korea Times, is translated by a generative AI system and edited by The Korea Times.