'Perfect love drives out fear'

By Kim Jae-won

Kim In-sook, 56, vividly remembered when Yong-ho first came to her home seven years ago. He was a shy and scared two-year-old boy who was afraid to go outside.

“I could not go grocery shopping because Yong-ho did not want to go outside the home. When guests came, he hid himself behind a curtain. He acted like that for a considerable time,” said Kim in an interview with The Korea Times at her home in Gongneung-dong, northern Seoul, Thursday.

Kim is the foster mom of the boy who is now a third grader at an elementary school. According to Kim, he excels in his school work, and is currently preparing to represent his class in an English language speech contest.

Kim thinks love changed Yong-ho’s mind and set him free from the fear of being abandoned again.

“I am so happy to see how positively he has changed. This is the biggest reward that I have for raising him,” said the housewife.

Yong-ho’s biological mom gave birth to him when she was 15 years old. Desperate to raise Yong-ho, the unmarried mom left him at a care center, which later transferred him to Kim’s family.

“Yong-ho’s mom came to our home two or three times to see him. And later his uncle from the mother’s side came and said that they would not continue the relationship anymore.”

Foster care is a very unfamiliar practice in Korea, where familial ties based on a mentality of “pure blood” is the norm. Foster care systems are designed to ensure that a minor who has been made a ward is placed in a private home of a state-certified caregiver, or foster parent. The placement of a child is usually arranged through a social services agency.

Thanks to the efforts of the government to implement it and changing social concepts of the family, the system is steadily gaining roots in this society. According to the National Foster Care Center, 14,500 children are currently being raised in foster homes. Korea adopted this system in 2003.

Health and Welfare Minister Chin Young awarded Kim a prize on May 22, designated as a Day for Foster Families, acknowledging her efforts in raising the boy. Kim said she did not deserve it because there were many others who did a better job than her.

A 2009 American movie “Blind Side” tells the touching story of a Baltimore Ravens offensive linesman, Michael Oher, who was raised in a foster home because his biological mother, a drug addict, lacked the means to raise him. It illustrates the importance of raising a child in a home and how love can change a life.

And Korea may have another Oher a decade from now because Yong-ho dreams to be a footballer.

“I want to be a football player, but mom wants me to be a doctor. So, I decided to be a doctor who plays football well,” said Yong-ho with a big smile.