Becoming room mom

Room mom, otherwise known as the event planner of the year, is usually in charge of everything from planning class parties to soliciting donations of all kinds. Ellen, center, is enjoying a snack that a classroom parent probably arranged to have brought in. / Courtesy of Jane Han

By Jane Han

As I raise my three children, I find myself learning new words and lingo I never knew before.

The latest one to add to the list ― room mom.

I found out what it was after I became one.

Two weeks ago, I got a call from the chair of the Parent Teacher Association (PTA) at my church’s children ministry.

She asked if I could be the room mom for Ann’s class.

I was in the middle of hauling groceries out of the car while carrying Lauren in one arm and yelling out for Ellen and Ann to stay off the road. I blurted out “OK” before I even knew it.

Room mom ― has a nice sound to it, I thought. Whatever it is.

A few minutes later, I get a series of messages from the PTA head.

What in the world.

From setting up a volunteer schedule for snacks every Sunday to collecting quasi-mandatory donations, the job description looked like pure horror.

I’m the kind of person who feels bad asking for even the tiniest favor so I couldn’t possibly imagine chasing after people who I don’t even know and asking them to hand over $20.

Even the thought of it made me cringe.

But being the responsible person I am, I decided to fulfill my duties immediately since I was already behind in being tapped room mom compared to other moms.

I created a group chat room, introduced myself, wrote out a nice, welcoming and detailed message of what the immediate needs of our classroom were.

I read the message to myself at least half a dozen times before I sent it.

My audience was a group of seven moms.

I waited and waited more and then some more.

Four hours passed. Four Hours.

Still no answer.

The message delivery indicator clearly showed that every single person in that room had read the message.

Was my message too long? Did I add too few emoticons? Did I add too many? Did I sound too demanding? Did I sound too passive?

Those few hours of silence felt like I was brought right back to high school ― the days when petty things like that mattered.

I felt ignored and I was disturbed.

A whole day had passed and I still got no reply.

By this time, I was beginning to question Korea’s biggest mobile messenger app. Something had to have gone wrong.

That Sunday, I posted a snack sign-up sheet on the classroom door with hopes that moms will be more responsive offline.

A week later, I was in utter disappointment to see that the sheet was still empty.

OK, something has got to be wrong here.

I was happy to prepare snacks for two consecutive weeks since no other parent seemed interested, but I felt the need to get down to what the issue was.

It was time to go old-school ― I picked up the phone. Oh yes, the phone.

I know we’re living in a world where no one calls anymore, like ever.

And when you do receive a phone call, you’re automatically thinking, “Did someone die?”

But despite it all, I wanted to get in touch.

I began to dial the first number on my list and, as weird as it sounds, I was nervous.

This isn’t some job interview or anything remotely close to that matter.

So why on earth was I nervous? Probably because I haven’t made these kinds of cold calls ever before.

Surprisingly, the other mom picked up only after a single ring.

I guess I had unconsciously built a certain mental image of the moms in our classroom while being completely ignored for one whole week. You can imagine what the image was like.

So when I heard the voice of a perfectly friendly person on the other end of the line, I was surprised and relieved all at the same time.

The same goes for the other four moms I was able to reach.

They were all kind and friendly people. Turns out, they are either just incredibly busy with a full-time job and kid(s) to look after or they’re not into thoroughly checking and reading their messages.

I reminded them of the texts that I sent and many of them had no idea. So things do get lost in translation, or more like text communication.

We cleared the air and all the moms are now on the same page.

Becoming the room parent got off to a little rocky start, but I expect it to be an interesting experience and another aspect of parenting to add to the list.

Much belatedly, I did go online to do a search on “room mom,” and let’s just say I probably wouldn’t have taken the job if I had known about it sooner.

The PTA head was smart to call me instead of text.

The moral of the story? Phone calls win.