(317) Am l destined to divorce?

Divorce used to be a taboo word in our conservative culture. It was often considered a sign of family collapse, connoting a dysfunctional home environment for children and a tainted reputation for the family, especially when it comes to the status of married women. Accordingly, people tried to hide or avoid the worst aspects of conjugal relations, and it wasn’t even possible for women to redeem themselves from this unfortunate situation, which obviously ruins their chance for happiness.

If we take Korean society for instance, it wasn’t rare not too long ago for men to have concubines and for their wives to put up with embarrassment and humiliation throughout their lives. There is a deep-rooted perception of patriarchy from our history so it would have been difficult criticize a men for spending time with concubines if we consider the socio-cultural background of the times.

Nowadays, divorce doesn’t attach all the stigma to a woman that it did in the past _ nevertheless, many couples who divorce have bad feelings about it and some try to endure their crumbled relations, holding off divorce until their children are fully grown. The increasing rate of December divorces may be a side effect of this social convention.

It is needless to say that the major portion of saju consultation is for married couples and concerns about their relationship. If we compare divorce between the East and West, I would say it is still more rigid here, as people have a hard time walking away from unpleasant and unhealthy marital relations. This is because they hold family, including parents, children and even relatives in higher regard than their own lives, except that now the discrimination between men and women has blurred.

Divorce, if civilly conducted, can be seen as necessary. It may not be right for every case, but it is preferable if the man and woman can rebuild healthy lives in order to be positive influences for their children instead of holding on to a bad marriage. Unfortunately, reality is not always rational and people do not always make the right decision. And then their second chance can sometimes leads to another failure. Thus, it is wise to be cautious in considering whether to divorce or stay married. The dilemma is caused by many viewing marriage as a fossil structure which involves intricate family relations.

A man in his 40s requested a saju reading for himself and his wife. His wife wanted to split up but he was not ready. The more he resisted, the harder the distress she imposed on him. He had lost a lot of weight and even been diagnosed with liver hardening from the stress. He kept emphasizing how happy their marriage had been in the past. He confessed that he had been dogmatic, which was the cause of the problem. Nonetheless, he didn’t think their marriage would end. “Is it meant to be?” Having three little daughters, he was very reluctant to end his marriage.

According to his saju reading, he is destined to have two wives and there is dissension in their gunghap, or marital harmony. He was born with the energy of yin metal, the character of which is considered sharp and fastidious and often leaves an offensive and callous impression on others. Actually, yin metal people are sensitive and reasonable owing to their delicate nature. On the other hand, his wife was born with the energy of yin fire, which is commonly recognized for its warmth, but at the same time, enjoys melting objects. When yin fire meets yin metal, they do not make an amicable alliance and it is particularly unfavorable for yin metal.

Apparently, it is claimed that the husband is the contributor to the ruin of the marriage but it ultimately damages the husband too. Due to the combining branch letters in both saju, the agreement between the two parties will not work.

Saju never yields a value judgment when there is a conflict. It may help you figure out what is the source of an obstacle and provide some road signs which you can choose to follow. Fortune-telling by saju requires the reading of both husband and wife to take into consideration the marriage interactions on the family.

Information: Are you interested in learning more about the ancient Chinese teachings of the “Four Pillars of Destiny”? For further information, visit Janet’s website at www.fourpillarskorea.com, contact her at 010-5414-7461 or email janetshin@hotmail.com.

The writer is the author of “Life’s Secrets”.