Delivery decision: Korea or US?

Some pregnant Korean women staying in the U.S. may have difficulty deciding whether to deliver in America or Korea. / Korea Times

By Jane Han

It’s decision time again.

With less than four months left till delivery, once again I’m faced with a bunch of decisions to make before the birth of my next baby.

But this time, it’s not just decisions over diapers and bottles, but something more significant ― whether to deliver in Korea or the U.S.

This big question has been keeping me up many nights because the consequence will not only affect me, but my youngest child waiting to be born, my twin girls, my husband and both sides of our family. It’s a pretty big deal for all of us.

Now, why am I even contemplating this to begin with?

Well, as many experienced mothers know, the first pregnancy is very much different from any consecutive pregnancies that follow.

First and foremost, you do not have the leisure to just sit back and relax and enjoy your much-deserved rest during any part of the pregnancy.

Honestly, it sucks, but that’s reality.

Five months into pregnancy, I realized that taking care of my twin toddlers into my third trimester and after delivery may just be too tough ― actually, impossible, to be more precise.

So what kind of scenarios are we talking about?

In Scenario A, I’d leave for Korea before I get too big, spend the remaining period of my pregnancy with family and friends, pop the baby out early next year and return roughly two months later.

I’d have my girls with me the whole time so they can enjoy quality time with their grandparents.

The biggest benefit to this plan is that I’ll know my baby daughters will be in good hands even if I can’t give them my 100 percent. Plus, I get to deliver in the comfort of a Korean hospital where the amenities and general circumstances are a whole lot more convenient compared to hospitals here in the United States.

Among many things, I’ll be served nutritious and hearty hot Korean meals prepared specifically for new moms three times a day.

No need to cook and bring my own ``miyeokguk,’’ the popular seaweed soup that all Korean women eat for at least three weeks after giving birth. No need to turn down ice cold water. No need to take care of a newborn right after a C-section.

I’m saying this based on my first delivery experience in the U.S. just last year.

I’d also finally be able to get proper postpartum care at a Korean-style maternity hotel, the now common must-go place for every other Korean woman who gives birth. Here, fresh moms get serviced with well-balanced meals, full body and facial massages, yoga classes and a whole lot more.

Yes, pretty much heaven for a mom of three like myself.

There are clearly big pros to Scenario A, but there is one major con that I feel outweighs all the pros ― I’d have to spend months apart from my husband.

You can get all the help in the world, but who can beat your husband who knows you better than anyone? This really is the biggest setback keeping me indecisive.

So does that mean Scenario B is the better way to go? Well, I’d have to deal with an entirely different level of physical, mental and emotional stress. Two toddlers, one newborn and me ― I just don’t know how and if we can all get along together.

There really isn’t much to Scenario B other than the fact that I clearly anticipate it to be a near nightmarish period in our house.

I’ve been going back and forth between the two options day and night over the past month and still failed to come up with an answer. It’s definitely a much more complex decision than choosing between Similac and Enfamil.

While contemplating, I realized how blessed first-born children are.

They are born into a more accommodating environment customized just for them and welcomed by parents who are better rested and generally in a healthier state. This suddenly made me feel incredibly bad for Baby C. I didn’t want her to get any less love than Baby A and B.

Besides the delivery decision, tons of other choices wait ahead, but I was reminded once again that I’ll do the right thing as long as I keep my priorities straight ― deciding what’s best for my little ones.

It’s not about me, my husband or anyone else. It’s about the three little girls who only know and see mom and dad as their whole world.