How much does it cost to raise baby? A lot

It costs over $245,000 (241 million won) to raise a child until he or she is 18 in the United States, according to a recent news report, and the situation in Korea isn’t much better. / Yonhap

By Jane Han

I recently read in the news that it will cost just over $245,000 (248 million won) to raise a child until he or she is 18 here in the U.S. I instantly multiplied this ridiculous amount by three and thought, uh-oh.

My husband and I are going to have to — somehow— shell out nearly $750,000 for our three children before they even get to college. And we all know how expensive U.S. college tuition is.

But as unbelievable as this number sounds, I was somewhat in disbelief when I first came across this unwelcomed news.

I mean, babies sure can be costly these days, but a quarter of a million dollars? I didn’t know about that.

I looked at the breakdown of the figure and saw that the U.S. Department of Agriculture based the calculation on the cost of housing, food, transportation, clothing, health care, education, child care and other expenses, including minor but regular and necessary things such as haircuts.

So this number didn’t just come out of nowhere. A bunch of well-educated experts sat down and actually did extensive calculation to reach this scientific figure. This really is reality.

Uh-oh, again.

Right then, I decided it would be a good time to go back and look at just how much I spent on the twin girls since their birth till now.

I wish I was one of those all-out diligent moms who record and organize on Excel spreadsheet every single nitty-gritty household expense. But I’m not, so we’re only talking rough figures here.

Although I dreamed for only the best for my girls, I went super frugal in preparing their nursery with inexpensive cribs, furniture, curtains and other necessities. Everything cost less than $500.

Next, newborn clothes and toys cost around $400. And then we have the stroller, the big-ticket purchase, at $500.

So all in all, I spent about $1,500 in preparing to welcome not one, but two babies home. Not bad, huh?

But of course, this was only the very beginning of many purchases to come.

Formula and diapers, although they don’t seem like much, make up a big chunk of monthly expenses. An average of $400 was spent every month for about 10 months. Thank goodness they’re completely off formula and have moved onto whole milk.

But even though they’re drinking less, they’re eating a lot more. I’m noticing that my grocery expenses have greatly increased since they turned celebrated their first birthday.

These girls, although tiny, sure know how to eat; wait till they become teenagers.

As children get older, there are those one-time pricey purchases, such as car seats, which cost $500 for two, but other than that babies are expensive in small ways that add up fast.

Experienced moms tell me that the real spending happens once kids begin school as they go to camp, get music lessons and do other extracurricular activities.

Whoever once said that education in the U.S. is cheap didn’t know a thing. Or that’s perhaps how it was in the past.

These days, Korean moms, as much as American moms, here competitively engage their kids in tutoring and other private lessons.

Forget special activities, even regular full-time pre-school tuition, which is mandatory for working moms, exceed $2,000 a month. And something a little extra such as a summer camp easily costs more than $1,000 a month. Piano lessons? The lesson that almost every Korean child gets at least once in their childhood typically costs parents $1 per minute, so a one-hour lesson comes to $60. And the list goes on

Once we start talking about the money involved in raising one human being, there’s really no end and depression kicks in.

Moms and dads can choose to spend a lot or manage to get by with a lot less. It’s certainly an individual’s choice and there is no right or wrong.

But from my short 14 months of being a parent, there is one thing I can say with conviction — money is not the biggest necessity in raising a happy child. No, it’s far from it.

In my opinion, the single most important value parents need is none other than patience.

I would’ve never guessed this before becoming a mom myself. But now that I have to deal with two toddlers on a daily basis, I know for a fact that mommy’s patience is — by far — more important than her money for a happy and secure baby.

I can buy my children all the best things in the world, but if I can’t go through their daily mealtime, playtime and bedtime, all of which can become challenging and draining, without God-given patience, we’d have two miserable babies.

I can’t say that I have either $245,000 or the most patience in the world, but at least patience is something I can work on every day.

OK, can you tell I’m trying to look on the bright side? I sure am.

Ah, when will parenthood get any easier?