By Jane Han
Since my twin girls were born, this column has mostly been about them, the babies, the little queens of the house. So today, I’d like to talk about me, the mom, the 24-hour do-it-all caretaker.
Ten months into motherhood, how is Mom?
Theoretically and ideally, I should be back to my pre-pregnant self again. People say it takes as much time as you were pregnant to return to your pre-baby shape, weight and everything else.
I can see that happening for a lot of new moms these days. They seem to get pregnant, pop their baby out and bounce right back into shape and look as good as ever, almost as if pregnancy never even happened.
Well, that’s not exactly the case for this mom here.
I still have about five more kilograms of baby fat to shed, under-eye dark circles have taken permanent residence on my face and, most importantly, it feels as if I’m always missing a part of my brain.
As weird as it may sound, it’s totally true.
I’ve become incredibly clumsy and forgetful. Even as I write this very piece, I’m finding myself getting stuck as I struggle to remember the exact word I want to use. And I’m not even talking fancy language, but just simple words like “clumsy.”
So this mental nonsense only makes me want to argue — “baby brain” must be real.
This is something I never really thought about. When women talk about postpartum issues, it’s usually about weight loss or emotional changes. I didn’t expect to be running around looking for my car key when I realize a half-hour of frantic searching later that I forgot to take it out of the car the night before.
Honestly, I was not this kind of person just 10 months ago. What on earth happened to me?
For some odd reason, even medical experts say there isn’t enough information on this. The term “baby brain” is used to describe new moms who basically lose their minds, but there isn’t enough scientific evidence out there that really proves that giving birth can harm a woman’s ability to think.
This state of mental confusion can be very frustrating at times — for me and the people around me who get inadvertently affected by my clumsiness — but the good news is that this too will pass.
My doctor assured me that once all the hormonal changes, sleep deprivation and sharp rise in stress from motherhood balances out, I will return to my old self again.
Not surprisingly, she didn’t give me an exact timeline on when, so who knows how long it will take, but I’m just focusing on the bright side that things will get better. One day.
In the meantime, what do I do?
For starters, I began using Post-it notes for important reminders. I put them everywhere — on the fridge door, bathroom mirror, lamp and pretty much everywhere I can easily see. It’s actually really helpful, until the girls somehow get their hands on them and start to chew away.
As I ramble on, it’s becoming clear that at 10 months, I’m certainly not the same person I used to be — mentally, emotionally and physically.
I don’t exactly shout for joy when I see those stubborn stretch marks still nice and visible. But as unbelievable as it may sound, a quick glance at my smiling girls makes everything all OK and acceptable.
Yes, I guess this is what they call the power of motherhood.
I may not be so understanding of myself if I keep up this current state, say, five months down the road. But right now, it is what it is and I’m simply trying to make day-to-day progress with my little ones.
So, to any other new moms, let’s hang in there and consider this a small price to pay for the priceless bundle of joy given to us.