Mission impossible: raising baby without Internet

By Jane Han

As weeks and months go by, there’s a question I keep asking myself over and over again: How on Earth did parents in the past raise a baby without the Internet? Seriously.

Starting from pregnancy — actually, even preparing for pregnancy — till now, the Internet has been my first and foremost trusted go-to place for everything baby. From baby supplies, to baby food, to baby behavior, there’re just too many things about which a new mom is clueless.

Of course there’s the old-fashioned way of asking family elders, doctors, friends and so on, but honestly, at least for me, the holy Internet is the place where I can get more high-quality information than anywhere else. I just need to make sure my sources are good.

I don’t want to end up with a bunch of amateur advice from first-time moms just like myself, so I make sure I get a good mix of professional advice from pediatrics experts and experienced moms for well-rounded guidance.

So far, this is pretty much what kept me a halfway decent mom to my twin infants. But things didn’t start off so easy when I first introduced myself to English-based parenting sites.

I thought Koreans used a lot of shortened words, until I realized that these moms and dads are the masters when it comes to new languages. Abbreviated words are so common that I could not even comprehend a single sentence without looking up the jumble of letters.

I remember one thread going something like: My DS is having so much trouble STTN that I switched to FF from BF. I can’t just let my LO CIO all night long. KWIM?

Take a guess as to what that means.

If you figured it out, you must be some kind of genius.

For all other average people like me, it means: My dear son is having so much trouble sleeping through the night that I switched to formula feeding from breast feeding. I can’t just let my little one cry it out all night long. Know what I mean?

No, I did not know what you meant until I Googled all your acronyms.

So yes, this was a bit frustrating at first, when I was in a rush at, say, 3 a.m. to get some help on why Baby A was crawling in her sleep again. But now I have become a pro in the field of baby-related acronyms. It’s just one of those things you quickly get the hang of. Besides, I have to master the language in order to get the help I need.

I can rely only on Korean parenting sites, but there’s a clear difference in the two cultures even in this department. From feeding to sleep training and everything in between, it’s just all different.

Korean parents, as expected, are a whole lot more compassionate and “hands on” when their babies, for example, cry in the middle of the night. Korean moms’ homemade baby food is at the level of gourmet cooking, and Korean parents really take apart and dissect a product when they write reviews of baby gear. They’re pickier than ever, so I know I’m buying the right stuff if it gets approval by these people.

English sites, for me, are particularly helpful when I’m looking for ways to help my babies learn how to self-soothe, a term that is rarely mentioned in Korean parenting communities. Quick and easy food-prep methods are also helpful. For example, instead of the full-fledged Korean-style baby porridge, American-style rice cereal mixed with a little water or formula can be served as a full meal in just seconds.

Such good information in both places, so there’s a reason why I bounce back and forth.

But there is one problem. It’s a trap I keep falling into time and time again — information overload.

Sometimes knowing too much hurts. Sometimes I get so obsessed about looking everything up that I have to stop and purposely remind myself that my grandmother, without the Internet or a smartphone in the 1950s, raised her seven sons and daughters perfectly fine.

There are definitely times when you need to put that special sixth sense to use and go with what you think is right for your baby and not what some faceless people are saying online.

I guess it’s another area that calls for balance. A good combination of information and intuition, KWIM?