Sex tape of lover

Dear Dr. P,

Today I found a tape of my boyfriend having sex with another woman he dated previously. I’m still ruffled and shocked and just sick to my stomach. Why doesn’t he throw it away? What’s he keeping it for? I don’t understand and I am very depressed and hurt. I really love this man, but now I don’t know. I’m so confused and saddened by all this. I still haven’t confronted him about it. Please help me. Going crazy.

Dear sender,

One of the most painful things in the world is watching your lover have an affair with another girl. Sometimes, this kind of strong jealousy and anger can defeat your reason and produce many tragedies. Othello, one of the four great tragedies by Shakespeare, showed an example of how much human jealousy can powerfully impact a person, and destroy him.

In that sense, I understand how frustrated and embarrassed you must have been at the moment you found the video tape. However, if you love your boyfriend sincerely, you obviously have a right to persuade him to throw it away. Also, holding onto the past is quite meaningless at this point for further development in the relationship.

Of course, it is a completely different issue if your boyfriend is still in a relationship with that girl or still seeing her. But if he is not and if you know that he really loves you, then it is better for you to get rid of the things that he has done in the past. You cannot own your boyfriend’s past experiences, even if you love him so much that you cannot let go of the things he has done.

The past is just the past and you cannot go back, which means it would be better if you and your boyfriend concentrate more on the present.

Thank you,

Dr. P

I have been trying to find this medication for mild ataxia and severe insomnia in Korea. I know it exists in Korea but I was not able to find it in major hospitals.

I stay in Bangkok, Thailand and I wish to make an appointment and come special for this purpose if you can help me get this medication.

Many medications I tried have side effects that stopped me from using them. I understand this medication helps ataxia and the anxiety together and I wish to try this.

Your help is kindly appreciated. I tried many hospitals in Seoul with no success in finding this medication.

The brand name is Sediel (Tandospirone).

Regards,

Anonymous

These days, it is possible to get most drugs in Korea that are used abroad. Unfortunately, you are having difficulty finding the medicine you need. Probably, one of the reasons is that Sediel (Tandospirone) has been developed by the pharmaceutical company in Japan, not in the United States or European countries.

Sediel (Tandospirone) that you are taking at the moment, which has also been known as metanopirone, is an anxiolytic and an antidepressant used in China and Japan, marketed by Dainippon Sumitomo Pharma. It is a member of the azapirone and piperazine chemical classes and is closely related to other agents like buspirone and gepirone.

In that sense, Sediel (Tandospirne) has a very similar function and effect like the same derivatives, buspirone and gepirone. So if it is not possible to get Sediel in Korea, you could try taking the similar medicines, like buspirone or gepirone instead. Fortunately, several pharmaceutical companies in Korea are producing the buspirone.

But these medicines including the Sediel are not newly developed medicines, so I would like to recommend you to try other new ones if your symptoms are not improving enough.

I hope you find this helpful.

Dr. Park Jin-seng is a psychiatrist who runs a clinic for foreigners in Seoul and operates personal therapist forums on www.lifeinkorea.com. Please submit questions to him, either in English or Korean, to mdoctor@korea.com or call the hotline at 02-563-0678. Those who have their questions selected will be presented with a copy of his book “Finding Yourself within Love” (Korean e-Book).