Schizophrenia

Hi! Dr. P,

Doctor, I am a 41-year-old Korean man. I have been admitted to mental hospitals several times, and have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I have problems planning my life because of my ambivalent attitudes, emotions and behavior.

I saw your column about schizophrenia in the previous Q&A, and I must admit that I am not very different from the case example. Even though I admit to this diagnosis, it is not easy to accept the reality, because I have already lost many things. What can I do about my future? Could you give me some advice?

Dear Sender,

You say that your future is dark and frustrating, but I see a lot of hope in your writing. If you were a pessimistic schizophrenic patient, you would not have the courage to ask me this question.

There is a proverb “better late than never” — I think you are not late if you start getting professional treatment and rehabilitation therapy now. It seems that you may have good enough English skills to understand the previous question and you can concentrate effectively.

When someone is diagnosed with schizophrenia, people usually regard them with prejudice. But I would like to emphasize that we should try to see a normal person as abnormal and abnormal person as normal, because sometimes there is a very fine line between normal and abnormal.

Please pluck up your courage again, and try to do your best to get treatment.

I hope you make good progress, and I believe in you.

Hi Dr. P,

I am a young female doctor currently working in a residency training program. I would like to ask you about the problems of the relationship between my parents and my sister. My sister and I tried to do our best to improve our relationship with our parents, but it was just beyond our ability. I am also a doctor, but this is my first time to consult a psychiatrist. I know that I shouldn’t be asking you through an e-mail; could it be a wiser decision for us to visit you and have counseling? When we go to see you for therapy, should my sister and I visit you first or should my family members visit you all together?

I look forward to your reply.

I appreciate you sending me this e-mail, although you are on such a busy residency training course.

I think that it is crucial for you and your sister to deal with the issues relating to your parents. As you may know, the relationship between parents and children is the most fundamental in the world. If your sister has a serious problem in this regard, she will not be able to deal with further issues, which means she would have similar problems with people in other social relationships.

But there is a saying that “the one and only makes you the most painful.” It is not easy or simple to solve the issues between parents and children because parents attach to their children high expectations and they will react against it.

They cannot compromise with each other because they are like two boxers in a ring. So they need a fair referee to arbitrate in a dispute. That is why the two sides — parents and children — should try to communicate and understand each other with a psychiatrist acting as an umpire.

Through this process, parents could have an empathic understanding with their children, and vice versa. The problems between them will be solved naturally just like snow starts to melt when the spring comes. If your parents are reluctant to visit me, I would like to recommend that you and your sister visit me first.

Thank you.

Dr. Park Jin-seng is a psychiatrist who runs a clinic for foreigners in Seoul and operates personal therapist forums on www.lifeinkorea.com. Please submit questions for him to mdoctor@korea.com or call the hotline at 02-563-0678. Those who have their questions selected will be presented with a copy of “Finding Yourself within Love” (Korean e-Book) that he wrote.