Fearlessly onward

I lost my job, recently. The government cut the budget for national policy research institutes, including the one that employed me. As a result, my employment contract was not extended.

Nowadays, I go for walks almost every morning. The white and yellow Marvels of Peru along the path are falling. They brought joy to hikers throughout the summer and autumn. The purple and violet Morning Glories and pink Cosmos on the hill will also start to fall before long. Everything has an end. I am reminded of that as I look at the remaining flowers.

This month, I saw a dance performance. The performers included an amazingly flexible young dancer — maybe in his 20s — and another one in his 40s. The audience saw the bodies constantly in motion.

During the performance, the dancers sometimes exited the stage, only to return, wearing T-shirts or a different pair of pants. Later, behind the stage, you could see the clothes that the performers took off and left on the floor. We will all leave this world someday, one by one, discarding our physical forms. How will we lead a meaningful life, not wasting our limited time here?

One of the performers, who is my friend, danced without fear. With her head shaved, she was like a monk. She was dancing as if there was only this moment.

Watching her dance, I wanted to write fearlessly without worrying about the results. When I was a child, I did not think, “What if my writing is not good?” I just wrote. Perhaps that is the necessary attitude for us — living in the present, not regretting the past or worrying about the future.

This summer, I signed an advance medical directive. I felt lighter after signing it. When we think of death, which will come someday, we can become braver, not putting off the things we really want to do. Also, we will be able to share what we have, not hesitating any more. I am giving my books to people around me these days. If we do not share the things we have while we are alive, they will become trash after we die.

Not just materially, but also mentally we can share many things with the world. Do you feel that you have realized your full potential? In our precious time, we can share the best things in us with all beings, including other people. What will be the things that you want to share?

I do not know what will happen in the future, but I will make my life full and meaningful. The loss of a salaried job will mean an uncertain future. Perhaps, however, this is a great opportunity to begin a new journey in my life.

During my walk this morning, looking at the leaves glistening after the rain, I felt that now is the time to really live.

Kim Sun-ae (blog.naver.com/everythingchanges) wrote "Old Potato, New Potato" and translated "Little Lord Fauntleroy."