My heart still isn't broken

By Casey Lartigue Jr.

When I meet South Koreans who are negative about North Korean refugees, I ask them why. Some mention having to pay higher taxes because of North Korea and North Korean refugees and the negative stories they read about North Korean refugees. When I ask how many North Korean refugees they have met, most say, "None."

Those are the kinds of South Koreans, along with shopkeepers and resume screeners, who get talked about in media stories about discrimination against North Korean refugees.

However, what about South Koreans who get to know North Korean refugees and remain critical? In addressing this topic, I hope readers won't infer from the handful of anecdotes in this column that this is reflective of the attitudes of all of the more than 50 million South Koreans. In 2017, volunteers with the organization I co-founded with Eunkoo Lee carried out some research and found there were at least 80 organizations focused on issues related to North Korea. Many of those people have devoted their careers to aiding North Korean refugees directly or trying to increase freedom in North Korea.

I try to keep in mind that a supporter can have 100 great experiences but lose energy after a negative experience or two. It is also always possible that I catch some people on a bad day.

Seven years ago, I wrote a column about an influential South Korean who approached me at a networking event. She insisted she tried not to be prejudiced, but she had heard from colleagues that North Korean refugees they worked with lie and cheat with impunity, don't show up for classes or events, are always late, show no sense of responsibility, and are passive until they are pushed. She said that her colleagues working with refugees have horror stories and social welfare workers routinely get their hearts broken.

She had been involved with some high-level organizations supporting North Korean refugees. She had heard that our organization was not having problems, but she couldn't believe it. Hearing how well things were going, she asked if we paid North Korean refugees to show up for our activities. No, we keep our activities learner-centered so North Korean refugees studying with us know we respect their choices and goals. Our problems are so minor that even researchers and reporters fascinated with problems would be bored.

I have met other South Koreans in decision-making positions that are critical of North Korean refugees. Some of them said they couldn't understand why North Korean refugees want to learn English or give speeches in English. Digging deeper, they admit that they believed North Korean refugees would be satisfied even with a factory job and not pursue a "luxury" like studying English.

Some South Koreans who help support North Korean refugees are dismayed when they learn that some North Korean refugees want to live abroad. Digging deeper, such people admit that they felt that North Korean refugees should be thankful that South Korea has accepted them. Some of the executives leading one organization expressed regret at supporting North Korean refugees when they realized that some wanted to study abroad.

A few years ago, I was talking with the leader of an institution focused on North Korean refugees. He was complaining that the North Korean refugees he had helped had not returned to thank him. I asked why he thought they didn't return to him. He griped for a few more minutes about them not being grateful. I felt like he had answered my question about why North Korean refugees didn't return to him.

One top executive giving financial support to North Korean refugees used to say negative things about them. Initially, he sounded like the skeptical South Korean I met at the networking party seven years ago who didn't believe that we had such good relations with North Korean refugees. I challenged him, saying that his negative attitude may be picked up on by North Korean refugees, thus leading them to be negative about him.

He recently attended one of our events and heard North Korean refugees say nice things about us unprompted. His organization is much richer than ours but he said he didn't hear such unprompted praise from North Korean refugees he had helped. He said he would be less skeptical about North Korean refugees and see how he could collaborate with them in better ways.

As far as I know, these South Koreans haven't been quoted in media stories about discrimination against North Korean refugees. Even some who soften their criticism sometimes say they wish they could get the kinds of support North Korean refugees receive. I advise them to get captured by North Korean agents, spend at least a decade in North Korea, and if they escape back to South Korea that I would actively lobby for them to receive the same benefits North Korean refugees receive.

Casey Lartigue Jr. (CJL@alumni.harvard.edu) is co-founder with Lee Eun-koo of Freedom Speakers International (FSI) and co-author with Han Song-mi of "Greenlight to Freedom."