By Jason Lim
Anya Kamenetz and Corey Turner recently published an article in NPR titled, "20 Questions To Help Decide What's Best For Your Kids (And You) This School Year." As a parent of a rising 3rd grader, I responded to the questions to see where it led me.
1. Are you working? Or do you need time to look for work?
Yes, I am working at a steady job, which is something that many millions of Americans don't get to do these days. This also means that I don't have to look for work, which is an all-consuming and exhausting task.
2. Do you work outside of the house and therefore need someone at home with the kids?
No, I am allowed to telework fulltime since I am not considered an essential employee. Also, all my colleagues that I usually interact with on an everyday basis also telework fulltime ― this means that the default expectation for communications and collaboration is to be virtual all the time. This is important since teleworking wouldn't be nearly as effective if it was a fallback option for the in-person work environment. Teleworking is effective only when everybody teleworks as a default.
3. Do you work from home, and if so, do you need some help entertaining or occupying your kids while you're on the clock?
Yes. Fortunately, my wife is able to spend time with my son while I am downstairs in the basement screaming at the screen to be heard or struggling with the sound lag while everyone is talking over one another. This is incredibly important. Young kids need constant attention when playing or attending virtual classes. In fact, we quickly realized that virtual classes meant that parents have to be attending classes along with the kids all the time in order to make it work. At eight years old, my son definitely needs continuous support, which is a euphemism for making sure he is paying attention and doing the work. Watching your child interacting via virtual class can be a very frustrating exercise of heroic self-control. This goes the same for playing. Otherwise, the only option is to give the kid free rein on the iPad, which she has to occasionally out of sheer exhaustion. Mano-a-mano parental engagement is essential to virtual schooling.
4. Does your job have any family leave or any schedule flexibility?
Yes. My job provides scheduling and family leave flexibility. We haven't had to use them yet, but good to know that we have the flexibility in case… you know… one or all of us come down sick with COVID-19. It's been known to happen.
5. If you're thinking about taking a step back from work, have you calculated not only the loss in earnings now, but the loss of retirement contributions and a wage penalty you may pay long term when you go back to work?
Luckily, we didn't have to do this math since my wife decided early on that she was willing to be a stay-at-home mom. Also, I am not sure how you can quantify the constant presence of a mom to a kid's wellbeing and overall family cohesion. This is a very personal and difficult decision that each family will have to decide itself; COVID19 just amplifies the criticality of this decision greatly.
6. You may be managing now without help, but are you stressed to a level that might lead to burnout?
Interestingly, my workload has become heavier since I started teleworking fulltime. There is definitely an expectation of extended availability by everyone, not just the leadership. Of course, communications in a virtual work environment have to more intentional and deliberate, requiring much more energy than face-to-face communications in which body language can pick up the load somewhat. So, burnout based on just increasing workload is a factor, but if I had to add 24X7 childcare on top of that, I would be shriveled black by now.
Ok, I've run out of space for more questions, but my mind was definitely made up after the first few questions. We are going to send out kid to school for in-person classes. Fortunately, our son's school offers that as an option, which is not true for many other schools. The biggest factor to our decision was that our son wanted to go back to school to be with his classmates. After six months of being cooped up in the house with only his parents for company, our son decided that his mental health would benefit greatly from being outside the home for a while. We wholeheartedly agree.
However, this isn't an easy or light decision. It's an agonizing decision that each family will have to make based on its risk tolerance and comfort level. What makes this decision possible is the trust we have in the school to try its best to make this work with the health and safety of the kids as the overriding driver. Hopefully, the 2020-2021 school year is a true aberration that my son will look back with lingering annoyance and amusement. For his parents, however, we will look back with a shudder at having to make an impossible choice.
Jason Lim (jasonlim@msn.com) is a Washington, D.C.-based expert on innovation, leadership and organizational culture.
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1. Are you working? Or do you need time to look for work?
Yes, I am working at a steady job, which is something that many millions of Americans don't get to do these days. This also means that I don't have to look for work, which is an all-consuming and exhausting task.
2. Do you work outside of the house and therefore need someone at home with the kids?
No, I am allowed to telework fulltime since I am not considered an essential employee. Also, all my colleagues that I usually interact with on an everyday basis also telework fulltime ― this means that the default expectation for communications and collaboration is to be virtual all the time. This is important since teleworking wouldn't be nearly as effective if it was a fallback option for the in-person work environment. Teleworking is effective only when everybody teleworks as a default.
3. Do you work from home, and if so, do you need some help entertaining or occupying your kids while you're on the clock?
Yes. Fortunately, my wife is able to spend time with my son while I am downstairs in the basement screaming at the screen to be heard or struggling with the sound lag while everyone is talking over one another. This is incredibly important. Young kids need constant attention when playing or attending virtual classes. In fact, we quickly realized that virtual classes meant that parents have to be attending classes along with the kids all the time in order to make it work. At eight years old, my son definitely needs continuous support, which is a euphemism for making sure he is paying attention and doing the work. Watching your child interacting via virtual class can be a very frustrating exercise of heroic self-control. This goes the same for playing. Otherwise, the only option is to give the kid free rein on the iPad, which she has to occasionally out of sheer exhaustion. Mano-a-mano parental engagement is essential to virtual schooling.
4. Does your job have any family leave or any schedule flexibility?
Yes. My job provides scheduling and family leave flexibility. We haven't had to use them yet, but good to know that we have the flexibility in case… you know… one or all of us come down sick with COVID-19. It's been known to happen.
5. If you're thinking about taking a step back from work, have you calculated not only the loss in earnings now, but the loss of retirement contributions and a wage penalty you may pay long term when you go back to work?
Luckily, we didn't have to do this math since my wife decided early on that she was willing to be a stay-at-home mom. Also, I am not sure how you can quantify the constant presence of a mom to a kid's wellbeing and overall family cohesion. This is a very personal and difficult decision that each family will have to decide itself; COVID19 just amplifies the criticality of this decision greatly.
6. You may be managing now without help, but are you stressed to a level that might lead to burnout?
Interestingly, my workload has become heavier since I started teleworking fulltime. There is definitely an expectation of extended availability by everyone, not just the leadership. Of course, communications in a virtual work environment have to more intentional and deliberate, requiring much more energy than face-to-face communications in which body language can pick up the load somewhat. So, burnout based on just increasing workload is a factor, but if I had to add 24X7 childcare on top of that, I would be shriveled black by now.
Ok, I've run out of space for more questions, but my mind was definitely made up after the first few questions. We are going to send out kid to school for in-person classes. Fortunately, our son's school offers that as an option, which is not true for many other schools. The biggest factor to our decision was that our son wanted to go back to school to be with his classmates. After six months of being cooped up in the house with only his parents for company, our son decided that his mental health would benefit greatly from being outside the home for a while. We wholeheartedly agree.
However, this isn't an easy or light decision. It's an agonizing decision that each family will have to make based on its risk tolerance and comfort level. What makes this decision possible is the trust we have in the school to try its best to make this work with the health and safety of the kids as the overriding driver. Hopefully, the 2020-2021 school year is a true aberration that my son will look back with lingering annoyance and amusement. For his parents, however, we will look back with a shudder at having to make an impossible choice.
Jason Lim (jasonlim@msn.com) is a Washington, D.C.-based expert on innovation, leadership and organizational culture.
