Chance meetings

By Hyon O'Brien

These days I tend to look back at my life and become contemplative. Today I thought about all the wonderful people I have as my friends. They are mostly relationships I've made through connections from schools, jobs, places we lived, churches, tennis teams, reading groups, charity work and art leagues etc. But there have been many chance meetings along the way.

In 2003, while living in Hong Kong I visited North Korea as one of a delegation of the Global Children Foundation. This charity was established in 1998 following the economic crisis in Korea with the mission of providing resources for the well-being of children in need around the world. We were invited to visit North Korea in order to monitor the delivery of medicine, food and clothing for children that we had sent as a donation through the Eugene Bell Foundation, a non-profit organization that has been working in North Korea since 1998 to control tuberculosis.

After a week-long whirlwind of unforgettable and emotional activities, we were leaving Pyongyang airport for Beijing in late October. We were informed that our flight would be delayed due to poor weather conditions in Beijing. All eight of us settled down in our chairs to wait.

I hadn't really gotten to know the other members of the delegation, as the oppressive atmosphere in Pyongyang was not conducive to intimate conversation. I was hesitant to talk much with others in my group during our stay in Pyongyang. This was primarily because I prudently didn't want to give the North Korean authorities any reason to detain me there, but secondly because the emotional visit had put me into a deeply reflective and introspective mode.

As we waited impatiently for our flight, I noticed that one of the delegates, named Sung, was reading a book that I read not too long ago, a popular translation of "Eloge de la Marche" (In Praise of Walking) by French anthropologist and sociologist David de Breton. That gave me an opening to chat with her about the book and hiking. She was surprised that I'd been to Milford Sound in the South Island of New Zealand, as she and her husband were scheduled to travel there for a long trek.

I told her about my weekly hiking on countless trails in Hong Kong. This talk of our shared hobby deepened our interest in each other. Sung went to the same university as I, and we are the same age. I learned that she had studied journalism and spent 30 years as a reporter for the one of the major daily newspapers in Korea. At the time, I was serving as an editor for the Korean Residents Association's monthly magazine and a writer for American Women's Association in Hong Kong, so that was another common interest.

When I arrived back in Hong Kong, Sung's e-mail from Seoul was waiting for me. Her short and simple e-mail was well suited to her journalistic style: "Shall we be friends?" For two years through our e-mails, we got to know each other so well that when I moved to Seoul from Hong Kong in 2005, it was as if we had been friends for ages. Over the next five years, we did everything together for the Korean charity called Friends of Love, helping with its annual fund-raising bazaar and organizing fund-raising house tours, concerts and dinners. We traveled together to Nepal and Sikkim. Then with our husbands, we enjoyed a trip to South Africa, including a safari in Kruger National Park and sampling the wineries near Cape Town. When I formed an English Book Club in Seoul, she was a very enthusiastic supporter.

Now we communicate easily via Kakaotalk and share news about family and friends. We are still avid readers and share book lists.

I'm grateful to the bad weather in Beijing that caused the delay at the Pyongyang airport. I might have missed knowing this special kindred spirit and soulmate if I had not been drawn to the book she was reading and taken the initiative to talk to her. The flight delay made it possible for that chance encounter that opened wide the gates of our friendship.

I could go on to list many more chance meetings that have enriched my life all these years. I don't look for it but it seems to happen when I act intuitively in a given situation.

The Russian writer, Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1821-1881), wisely said, "There are chance meetings with strangers that interest us from the first moment before a word is spoken." I wonder whether he meant that we somehow, by the grace of God, sense the destiny of connecting with that particular stranger.

Life is full of wonder. Meeting new people by chance and enjoying the friendship blossoming from those random encounters are among the best ingredients of a rich life. Every day, let's keep our hearts open so we can be receptive to unexpected new friends. What a wonderful life we have!

Hyon O'Brien (hyonobrien@gmail.com) is a former reference librarian now living in the United States.

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