 Old and new: bowing plays an integral role in Korean culture as a gesture of respect. / Korea Times |
By Tony MacGregor
Contributing Writer
The custom of bowing is habitual and deeply ingrained in Koreans, but it can be a source of anxiety and worry for foreigners. When do I bow? How do I bow? Are there different kinds of bows for different situations? Will I offend my Korean friends if I don't bow?
To find the answers to those questions, I visited Christy Yoo, president of Marie Story ( www.mariestory.co.kr), a program that educates Koreans in explaining their cultural traditions in English.
Bowing isn't the only custom that puzzles foreigners in Korea, but Yoo offered help with all my questions about Korean etiquette.
As a rule of thumb in everyday life, she said, you can bow when people bow to you. Koreans hardly consider bows everyday greetings. ``It's just like shaking hands," she said.
Sometimes, Koreans bow while shaking hands, and it's polite to return the gesture.
She explained that bowing has deep roots in Korean society, probably pre-dating the entry of Buddhism and Confucianism into Korea in the Three Kingdoms period (57 B.C.-668)
Both Buddhism and Christianity had profound impacts on the behavior of Koreans but Confucianism, with its teachings on the position of the individual in society, greatly influenced Korean etiquette.
Confucianism is a system of ethics and behavior that emphasizes the obligations of people towards one another. It stresses duty, loyalty, honor, filial piety, respect for age and seniority and sincerity.
It is based on five different relationships: (1) ruler and subject, (2) husband and wife, (3) parents and children, (4) brothers and sisters and (5) friend and friend.
Respect for age and seniority is still a huge part of Korean culture and influences how one bows to others. ``Koreans feel obligated to ask a person's age. It's not considered disrespectful as it is in Western cultures," Yoo said. ``When we know a person's age, we can show him or her proper respect."
In Korea, it is rare to see an older person standing on a bus and there are special seats on the subways for the elderly (as well as pregnant women and the disabled).
When bowing, the younger person or the person in a lower social position is expected to bow lower than the senior person, but the senior person initiates the bow.
There are different types of bows for different occasions, including apologies or expressions of thanks.
The person apologizing generally bows at about 45 degrees with the head lowered lasting for about the count of three. The worse the offense and the more sincere the apology, the deeper the bow and the more frequent.
It is the same with bows of thanks. In some cases, the person will kneel and bow so deeply that his forehead touches the floor.
These kinds of bows are seen at weddings, when the groom will perform a kneeling bow to the bride's parents as an expression of thanks.
Another custom that often puzzles foreigners is the custom of offering and taking things with two hands from people to whom you wish to show respect.
``It is the custom when giving to older people or people of high status or when accepting something from them to use two hands as a sign of respect. This is especially true with business cards," she said.
Yoo had some encouraging words for foreigners worried about Korean etiquette. ``Koreans are very forgiving of foreigners if they inadvertently break rules," she said.
``Koreans have become very international over the past two decades. They are generally familiar with Western customs and don't expect foreigners to understand all the intricacies of Korean etiquette, so they're usually very understanding and forgiving of any mistakes that foreigners make," she said.
Foreigners wishing to learn more about Korean etiquette can contact Yoosfamily at www.yoosfamily.com.
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