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| Bang Seoung-ho |
By Lee Kyung-min
Love and respect would greatly solve most teenagers' problems in school, including bullying, smoking and other deviant behavior, according to Ahyeon Polytechnic School principal Bang Seoung-ho, 54.
If parents and teachers assert authority by causing fear, it will only worsen anger and frustration among teenagers, inclining them to direct their negative energy toward the weak among their peers.
"School bullying and teenage smoking is getting worse because all they hear from adults is: ‘No. You should not do that,' while what they really want to hear is ‘Are you OK? How are you doing?' Scolding them and forcing them to do as they are told is merely a short-sighted approach," he said.
Bang's efforts to be a good example for other adults started in 2014 when he wrote a song called "No Tobacco" while principal at Junghwa High School in eastern Seoul.
"I know you are looking for what you are denied: love and care. I'm sorry for not loving you sooner. Don't worry. I believe in you. Let's do it together. I believe in you," the lyrics read.
Bang, who is also a singer-songwriter with three albums, said singing the song helped solve what no corporal punishment or verbal warnings could do for the past few years: reduce the school's smoking rate to below 10 percent at Junghwa as well as at Ahyeon Polytechnic.
"I know that teenagers should not smoke at all, but I think my job is done when they understand that somebody genuinely cares for them," he said.
Bang said he earned support from parents after solving online game addiction at his school by setting up computer rooms for playing online games inside Ahyeon.
"Rather than just saying no, let them do what they want, just make sure they keep their promises to limit the hours they play games," he said. "If successful, that works as a great way to instill self-confidence in them that they are responsible people. Parents first opposed my suggestion, but later thanked me for my different yet effective approach."
Instead of forcing children to do as they are told, asking them what they want and listening sincerely to what they have to say will open their hearts, Bang said.
"Parents want their children to become mature, sincere and honest," he said. "Treating them as equals and respecting their opinions is the first step in the right direction."
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