Sleepless in Seoul

By Hyon O’Brien

It is 2 a.m. I woke up after a couple of hours and cannot get back to sleep.

I understand that I am in Seoul, 13 hours from my home time zone in Miami. I know this sleeplessness is caused by a jetlag and yet I am feeling put upon. What should I do? Count sheep? I decide to take Dale Carnegie’s advice on interrupted sleep: “If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying; it is the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.”

So here I am putting my sleeplessness to (hopefully) good use.

They say adults need about eight hours sleep each night to carry on a normal healthy day. If so, assuming a life expectancy of 80 years, we spend more than 26 years just sleeping. Wow, that is a big chunk of time in our short lives.

And yet, it is an absolute necessity. Do we all sleep well? According to statistics on the United States compiled by the Delta Sleeps Lab, 20 to 40 percent of all American adults experience insomnia in the course of each year. One out of three people have insomnia at some point in their lives and over seventy million Americans suffer from sleep disorders. Over half of those over the age of 65 experience disturbed sleep. So sleeping well is a real blessing.

Some cases of sleep disorder have a medical connection, some of them may very well be related to fear, nervousness, worry and excitement and host of other emotional states.

Anxiety: I notice myself getting anxious before a trip and that keeps me from sleeping well. I can understand why people do not want to travel. It is too much work. All the arrangements to make to cover for the absence are sometimes daunting. We have two dogs and lots of indoor plants. So besides being alert about stopping the mail and newspaper deliveries, we need friends and close family members who are willing to step in for the care of these precious pets and botanical wonders. Packing gives me headaches when the travel involves places with different climates.

When we have people to visit, getting suitable gifts ready for the trip is a challenge. Looking presentable with only a carry-on suitcase containing limited items of clothing is a tough task also (creative use of scarves and pendants in dressing is a very handy skill to cultivate).

Deadlines: Our lives seem to be filled with deadlines. Meeting a deadline is a stressful thing. I remember countless times during my school days when I stayed up all night to cram in last minute study for the following day’s examinations. Fixed time frames within which to complete many varieties of projects, homework, reports, and even getting the house ready for guests, generate tension and pressure. Come to think of it, the deadline for this article may have as much to do with my insomnia as the jet lag.

Loved ones: Our two children decided to come into the world in the wee hours of the night keeping their parents awake (to say the least). No pain, no gain indeed. I would readily forgo any night’s sleep to welcome them into our family. I recall many nights staying awake restlessly until our teenage daughters return from their dates. What about when they obtained drivers’ licenses and took away my sense of peace each time they drove away to meet their friends? No sleep came till they safely returned home.

Unclear conscience: One of the causes of disturbed sleep comes from a guilty conscience. When I reexamine my previous day and discover unintentional wounds that I may have inflicted on someone due to unkind words or unfeeling remarks, I cringe with embarrassment and shame. However, I have tomorrow to correct it. Then, I can sincerely apologize for my blunders.

Resentment: I stay awake also when I feel wronged by someone and anger simmers in my heart over that person. Until I let go of the resentment, I cannot find peace in my soul. Repeatedly, I realize that a well-spent day brings happy sleep.

It is now 5 a.m. so I plan to turn in and invite slumber to refresh me for the next day’s living. I am checking to remove any anger and resentment, anxiety, fear, guilt, stress, tension, and worry from the interior part of me to achieve a happy, satisfying sleep for the night. (I’ve met my deadline, so that gets rid of one source of anxiety.)

I remind myself of what the Psalmist said long ago: “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

Hyon O'Brien is a former reference librarian now living in the United States. She can be reached at hyonobrien@gmail.com.