Under Shade of Magnolias

By Lim Yeong-ae

After a long and tedious winter, spring has finally come. As a person who has experienced tropical countries such as Singapore and Thailand, I cannot take this season for granted. It was not until I lived in those places that I realized that even in April or in May, some people in the world have to experience summer or winter.

From that viewpoint, this spring is especially precious and meaningful for me. It seems that the harsher the winter is, the more pleasant the spring is in our mind.

I like all kinds of flowers but I love magnolias most of all.

There was a time when I used to wear only ivory clothes this time of year. As I was so jealous of the flower, I tried to imitate its purity or innocence. I could not look up at the sky without tears in my eyes standing under a magnolia tree. Although I am a greedy and thick-skinned ajumma ― married/middle aged woman ― now, at the time I was a rather pure-spirited agassi ― unmarried/young woman ― whose mind was like morning dew on a flower petal.

I wonder why my eyes often forms tears at images of extreme beauty. There might be some correlation between the two (beauty and sorrow), considering that we cry when feel sadl but sometimes we also tear up at fascinating beauty, probably due to its finiteness. Nothing makes us sadder than the disappearance of an existence, let alone a gorgeous one.

I especially admire its ``strong beauty." For a long time, I had a preconception that ``toughness" is far from beautiful, but more or less masculine. However, this kind of anachronistic idea should be changed. If Scarlet O' Hara had been a fragile woman, she wouldn't have been loved by us as a most attractive character, even now.

Magnolias bloom right after winter fades away. Isn't it a real messenger of spring? Even though it's strong enough to endure and overcome cold weather, it's far from rough or crude.

It's exuberant but doesn't seem easy or superficial. Although it's flamboyant, it never seems to be shallow. It's modest enough not to show off its beauty individually like a rose. It doesn't hide among thorns to protect its dignity. Even if it doesn't allure us with dazzling color, we cannot help being fascinated by it.

It blooms in groups, but no individual one loses its charm. A flower may be staggered by a strong wind, but it neither bows down nor obeys the worldly threat. It always face up to the sky. Therefore, it looks holy and lonely. That's why it seems so noble and pure.

It's said the magnolia is a symbol of nirvana, which can be reached after long and painful suffering. I couldn't agree more, considering that magnolias light up the desolate world with their splendid bright colors without even showing leaves. It would be none other than a message of hope for people still suffering from cold and difficult times.

Some people don't like this flower because of its sorrowful fading image. I, however, would take it as a profound performance to teach us the precious universal truth of ``transitory beauty" and that ``nothing lasts forever."

As my birthday falls on the season of the magnolia, I have memories related to the flower. I receive magnolias as birthday presents from many people every year. One of the most impressive flower gifts was one from my younger brother, Geon.

When he was a high school student, he was an eyesore to me. He was so curious about machines that every electronic appliance or tool at home was broken and reassembled by him. Unfortunately, my audio system and piano were not exceptions. Needless to say, they sounded strange after ``experiencing" his hands.

One early spring day, on my birthday morning, he gave me a magnolia twig with four or five beautiful flowers. The birthday card read,

To my dearest sister,

I am poor and can't afford to buy a present for your birthday.

So I picked these flowers from a neighbor's garden for you.

How could I be afraid of being a flower thief if I can make you happy?

Even though I hurt your mind by breaking your precious things,

You should know that how deep my love is for you.

Now that I've dedicated to you your favorite thing in springtime,

please take away your hatred of me and be beautiful and elegant like this flower...

Of course I noticed his intention. He made use of magnolias not to ask for my forgiveness, but to receive his monthly allowance again, which had stopped since the ``incidents" happened. Although I knew his real purpose, the stolen flower gift was so impressive and touching that I forgave him and gave him an extra bonus in addition to the usual money. If he had presented a bunch of roses from a flower shop, I don't think I would have been so generous.

Come to think of it, there are some people (though few) who project the image of a magnolia. Their soul is so pure and powerful, they make us respect and admire them without speaking loudly or abusing an influential position.

They do so just like magnolias, which attract so many people without wearing eye-catching color or alluring with strong fragrance.

Don't lament the fading flowers, as there are some people who are even more beautiful in full bloom beside us all year around.

The writer is an essayist and adjunct professor of JEI (Jae Neung) University. She can be reached at annielim31@naver.com.