By Dale McFeatters
Scripps Howard News Service

Recently, Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez took to national television to alert his countrymen, ``They are preparing a war against us."

The ``they" are the United States and Colombia. Chavez has loaded up on $4 billion in Russian arms to thwart our aggressive designs.

This past week he added another nation to that sinister cabal ― the Netherlands. Rather bizarrely, he chose the U.N. conference on climate change as his forum to disclose this plot, of which only he seems aware.

Also party to the plot are the self-governing Dutch Caribbean islands of Aruba, Curacao and Bonaire. Said Chavez: ``Europe should know that the North American empire is filling these islands with weapons, assassins, American intelligence units, and spy planes and warships."

The ``North American empire" was a nice touch because it dovetails with the belief among a certain faction of American wingnuts that there's a plot to subsume the U.S., Canada and Mexico into a single country called the North American Union.

In any event, Chavez said darkly, ``The Netherlands is responsible for this."

The disclosure that it was aiding an invasion of Venezuela seemed to come as news to the Dutch government, whose foreign minister asked Venezuela's ambassador to clarify Chavez's remarks. ``Clarify" is diplomatic language for: What on Earth is he talking about?

Dale McFeatters is an editorial writer of Scripps Howard News Service (www.scrippsnews.com).