Too Much Pressure on Women

By Phillip Hartman

That South Korea has a suicide problem is no longer news. As shocking as it may seem for a country that just 20 years ago had one of the world's lowest rates, and to now have seen the level skyrocket to be one of its highest, is the reality that now haunts this country.

Authorities seem stumped over how to handle the situation. The best policy they've been able to construct is to ban the word ``suicide" from the Internet. This recent desperate foray to solve the problem communicates two things to us. First, that the government is low on ideas; second, that they aren't able to see the larger picture.

While teenage suicide clubs may make headlines, in reality, it is the high suicide rate among women that is keeping South Korea's suicide rate so high. And the trend is not isolated to South Korea alone, but is shared among its neighbors as well. South Korea, China, Japan, Hong Kong and Taiwan hold the top five spots in world suicide rates for women. That is no mere coincidence, but speaks clearly about something unique in East Asia that is leading women to kill themselves in greater numbers.

Taking four East Asian countries (China, Hong Kong, South Korea, and Japan) and comparing them with four Western countries of similar size (the United States, Italy, Germany and the Netherlands), the contrast in suicide rate among women is obvious. The average suicide rate for all of East Asia is 14.04 per 100,000 people, while for Western Europe the average is 6.43.

The numbers make one thing very clear. The suicide rate has very little to do with rapid economic development. Japan has been a developed country for a long time and Hong Kong for a significant period, yet it hasn't had any effect on reducing the suicide rate.

Japan, China and Korea couldn't be more different, yet there is something that they do share and that is the enormous pressure placed on women via archaic Confucian traditions. Women are expected to fit a certain model form. At all times they must give the impression of being upstanding, pure and loyal. They are burdened with the responsibility of raising children, managing households and, increasingly, working either to provide supplemental income or as the sole provider. They are expected to be every bit as successful as men, yet they are still laden with the commitments of the sheltered housewife. If a woman appears sexually in a movie or advertisement, she is demoted in the social hierarchy and carries a stigma with her. The same applies to a woman who divorces, yet no such stigmatization applies to men.

Compare this with the situation in Europe, where women can stroll topless on the beach, are treated equally at work and receive the caring support of husbands with regards to child rearing and chores.

Suicide is a desperate decision made by those who have lost hope, but it's also a symptom of a larger problem. For every woman that commits suicide, many more live in misery. To reduce suicides we need to reduce the misery of women in this country. And that's something that starts with men. Men in this country need to adopt a manner of caring and consideration toward their women. They need to step out of the traditional division of labor that society has taught them and re-evaluate the proper way to live and love their wife or girlfriend.

The government can only do so much to solve a problem that is buried within the thoughts and hearts of Koreans. To solve it, first we need to face it. Women must speak out about their unhappiness; dialogue must occur. And all the mothers, fathers, husbands and others must think carefully before using derogatory words to label women. Imagine if it was your daughter, your wife or your mother.

As Korea modernizes, women want to start living like their peers in other countries, but often they are being crushed between the life they want to live and the life they are being told they have to live. Families and loved ones must understand that putting enormous pressure on their girls and women isn't going stop modernization. It's time we thought about how we can help our women to be happy instead of instructing them. Lowering the numbers of suicides in this country starts with us.

The writer worked for three years at EWAS Uijeongbu, Gyeonggi Province, and LCI Kid's Club in Gangdong-gu, Seoul. He can be reached at johannphilipe@hotmail.com.