By Abhishek D. Joshi
Last weekend, after a long wait, I got an opportunity to watch the movie ``Anega Gyeolhonhada," or ``My Wife is Getting Married," with English subtitles. The film offers the very inviting and bold concept of a woman marrying two men. She loves both of them equally and is seemingly nearly perfect wife to both of them. Kudos to the director and writer for such a compelling film.
A friend of mine, who saw the movie on a date, expressed his displeasure, saying it was against societal norms. Needless to say, the movie's themes don't fit in a patriarchal Confucian society.
It is extremely rare to see a woman being the wife of two men simultaneously; I've never seen such a case on or off-screen. My friend's claim that ``This movie, in an obscure way, brings the important issue of the freedom and rights to freedom of women to the forefront" made me want to see it.
A few other friends who saw the movie expressed umbrage and debated whether a woman should do such things against societal customs. I countered by asking if it would have been ok for a man to do such a thing, and if not, why. I've seen plenty of Korean dramas in which men had more than one wife or extramarital affairs with the knowledge of his wife.
As a foreigner, I've seen lots of prejudice against women in Korea, and the story is somewhat similar back home. It is not uncommon to see old people scolding young women who smoke. They're not allowed to drink until the wee hours of dawn, unlike men, who feel free to litter and vomit after a night-out drinking. A friend who smokes profusely objects to having a smoker for a girlfriend.
Isn't that discrimination? It's a gross violation of basic gender equality. It's understandable for non-smokers and/or teetotalers to prefer people like them, but for a chain smoker to discriminate against someone for smoking is hypocrisy of the highest order. Many men here would prefer wives who earn less than them as it would be shameful for a man to earn less than his wife. An engineer friend would prefer a teacher or housewife to a lawyer or corporate professional as a girlfriend/wife.
The aforementioned is clear evidence of the inherent discrimination of men against women. I have nothing against a Confucian society, and the way elders are treated and respected is praiseworthy and can serve as a model for many ``casual-cultured" societies, but the patriarchal inclination is definitely demeaning to women.
The advent of globalization and industrialization has brought about modernity in Korea. Some fear losing their culture, but the equality of women, in every respect and on every front, is definitely not a threat to the local culture, but is rather a way of further strengthening it. On any team in which half of the members are dissatisfied or feel discriminated against, there is hardly any opportunity for the team to succeed or the good of society. And with Korean society having made so much advancement, one must wonder how much it would achieve thanks to complete gender equality.
When feminists raise objections against discrimination, they're usually branded as anti-social, feminazis or fascists. These days, even the word feminism is viewed with contempt. I wouldn't call them feminists but rather ``workers for female equality". This is what they have set to do and this is what they have been doing.
Their voices have been picketed and viewed with repugnance. They've been made to suffer in and have been greatly discriminated against. But Korea is slowly changing and got its first female prime minister in the summer of 2006. Rarely have we seen woman occupy the highest chairs in chaebol, but let's hope that the day is not far when women are seen as corporate czarinas in Korea.
Many of my friends feel this movie can open up a Pandora's box and bring unnecessary disturbance to society by acting as a cannon in the hands of feminists. But we do need to understand that their intention is not to extirpate society or societal fabric but to achieve basic equality of gender. No one likes to be discriminated against, especially not when they represent almost half of mankind. Such discrimination exists not only in Korea, but in almost every nation. Over the years, the feminists have been triumphant, to some extent, in achieving equality. Their efforts will surely cause no harm in achieving gender equality and I hope that one day, no one is discriminated against.
I'm being an idealist, I know.
The writer is a graduate student Seoul National University and can be reached at