What Are Appropriate Questions?

By Clara Kim

Since coming to South Korea in August of 2005 to work as an English teacher through the English Program in Korea (EPIK) in North Jeolla Province, I often had to deal with the following questions from teachers and students: Can you eat spicy food? Can you speak Korean? Have you tried this food and that food and so on.
Such endless and redundant questions have made me think how unknowledgeable people are about Korean-Americans, overseas Koreans (gyopo) and the Korean diaspora as a whole and how much of a long way we have to go to bridge this gap of understanding.

Therefore, with the intention to bridge the gap, I would like to respond through this writing to the questions I often encounter, reflecting on my personal experiences as a 1.7 generation Korean-American. (I was born in the U.S. to Korean parents but moved to Korea at the age of five and spent the next five years in Seoul before returning to the U.S. at age 10)

Through my responses, I hope to help bring about such redundant, naive and perhaps, inappropriate questions to those that are more reasonable, sensible and respectful.

Let me start with the all too familiar question: Do you speak Korean? I personally find this question annoying. Yes, I understand that many people often assume that Korean-Americans can't speak Korean because of the fact that many of them hardly speak Korean or possess only a rudimentary knowledge of Korean.

So I guess it would only be inevitable that such a question is asked to Korean-Americans. (1.5 and 2nd generation Korean-Americans in particular) It's also unfortunate that because of this, I'm too often generalized and stereotyped as someone who had no exposure to Korean language and can't speak Korean.

Moreover, this generalization is aggravated by the fact that I'm a native English speaker and therefore, we must all be English-speaking monolinguals.

I have too often let this go over my head, thereby letting people get away with their generalization. But I reached a point where I felt that it was time for me to stand up, speak the truth and embrace my bilingual-self rather than try to fit into this black and white mold where you have to be either Korean or American.

So when ``Do you speak Korean?'' was asked, I answered ``Yes'' and if further questions were asked, which is always the case, I gladly answered even if it required a lengthy explanation.

Since my main concern was to help them to dispel their stereotypes about Korean-Americans, I didn't hesitate to fire back with a vengeance in Korean when assumptions were made.

At last, after two years of struggling with this beast, I have gained the confidence and courage to stand up, speak the truth and not be pigeonholed into this box that has no place for people like me. Therefore, I have taken many people by surprise.

The fact of the matter is, most Korean-Americans who belong in the 1.5 category such as myself, do speak Korean and many of them, for the most part, grew up speaking Korean with their parents.

I grew up in an all-Korean speaking home so I'm no exception. So why is this so surprising to people? Isn't this common knowledge?

What's even worse is that I've encountered some Koreans who thought that I learned to speak Korean while in Korea, not before coming to Korea. Of course, I find this completely absurd.

Not only are they discrediting the efforts of many first-generation Korean immigrants in America, who have spread the Korean language and culture in America, they are also disrespecting my parents, both college graduates from top universities in Seoul as well as my ancestors all of whom have their roots here in South Korea.

One of my co-teachers even went on to tell me how lucky I am to have the opportunity to immerse myself in Korean culture and language because the majority of Korean students don't have the opportunity to immerse themselves in English culture and language. Therefore, I should be more understanding of Korean students as a teacher.

How dare she compare my situation to the Korean students! Did these students have to speak English to communicate with their parents like I had to speak Korean to communicate with my parents growing up? I remember being utterly offended by her statement.

A similar response can be said of questions dealing with food such as ``Can you eat spicy food?'' ``Have you tried kimchi?'' etc. I had Korean parents and therefore, I only grew up eating Korean food at home. My mother cooked nothing other than Korean food. The refrigerator at my home was always stocked with kimchi.

So to answer your question once more, yes indeed, I've tried kimchi. I can eat spicy food. I know how to use chopsticks.

So may I ask all of you once more to please ask something more reasonable, appropriate and meaningful next time you meet a Korean-American? There's so much more to ask other than the same, mundane and outdated questions such as the ones I mentioned above.

The writer is currently freelancing as a teacher and journalist in Seoul. She can be contacted at msclarakim@yahoo.com.