Don't burn your bridges when moving to a new job

Sherlyn Kim

By Sherlyn Kim

Workplace etiquette is an essential thing to keep in mind as having good etiquette will improve relationships with your co-workers and boss. The standards for etiquette vary across industries so it is important to get a feel for what is expected of you.

Communicate if there is a problem with your co-workers or boss through the appropriate channels so that there aren’t larger issues later. It is important to always be respectful and cooperative with the people that you work with.

Here are the emails I received the past week about workplace etiquette:

Dear Ms. Etiquette,

I have a coworker who is continually chatting with me throughout the workday. She is my friend. I was hired three weeks after she got in the company. I’m afraid of talking to her about this because I’m worried that I might hurt her feelings. Can I approach my boss and ask to move to another cubicle?

Erika Choi, Seoul

Dear Erika,

Before you approach or contact your boss, you should talk to your officemate first. Strange as it may sound, she may not even realize that she is annoying you especially as it seems to appear you are chatting with her.

The next time she talks too much, speak up and be assertive with her. Many people fear of hurting others’ feelings and won’t tell coworkers or officemates, friends, or others that what they are doing is bothering them.

But there is another way to handle these situations. Speak calmly and politely and say something like, “Let me talk to you later. I have to get this work done.”

If she continues to talk, you can keep repeating: You know … I really need to get this work done. Let’s talk later.” Or “Let’s talk at lunch.” I would then make a point of chatting with her at lunch or at the end of the day.

I hope I was able to answer your concern.

I just had a phone interview and I was very nervous. I feel like I rambled a bit much and did not get the point across that properly represented me. What are your thoughts about addressing this in my thank you letter?

Helen Shin, Bucheon City

Dear Helen,

Is it possible that you are just being hard on yourself? You may not have been as unfocused as you thought. And even if you were, I would not mention that you felt like you rambled. If you say that, you will be emphasizing it. I would just reiterate your strengths in your thank you note.

Thank you for writing and I hope I was able to help you.

I am leaving my company for a new job that is near my place. I would like to ask your points and views on how to exit graciously?

M. Kim, Seoul

Dear Ms. Kim,

Moving to a new company or a new position is not unusual in today’s workplace. Here are four key actions for you to take before your last day.

1. Let people know. Obviously your boss knows, but you need to tell or email your employees, colleagues, clients and customers.

2. Thank people. Make a special effort to thank the people who have gone out of their way for you.

3. Don’t burn your bridges. No matter how long you have fantasized about telling your boss off _ don’t do it. It might make you feel wonderful for 10 seconds or a minute, but later you probably would feel bad about it.

And the only thing you would accomplish would be to lose a reference. Also do not post any nasty or gloating comments on social media.

4. Make transition easy for your replacement. Be as up-to-date as you can. Leave detailed notes. If possible introduce the person replacing you to the key people with whom he or she will be working.

Good luck on your new endeavor.

Ms. Etiquette

In today’s workplace, it’s not simply enough to perform your job at an acceptable level because your boss or your employer wants you to be valuable and vital employee. You want to become someone with whom others want to work.

Because the dynamics of the workplace are continually evolving, you should always consider learning more skills if you take an active and enthusiastic role in your own career development.

These are the skills that will give you the competitive edge in your career. It will definitely give you the poise and assurance that enable you to advance.

The Manners & Etiquette column is written by Sherlyn Kim, a certified international etiquette consultant and trainer. She is CEO of Molly Manners Korea (https://www.mollymanners.co.kr), a leading manners and etiquette institute. Readers are encouraged to send their questions about manners, etiquette and social skills to the author (sherlyn@mollymanners.com).