How to avoid cultural mistakes in Korea

"Angry Ajumma" / Courtesy of Lara S. Williams on The Great Affairs.

By Joel Lee

A post titled "20 Cultural Mistakes to Avoid in Korea'' on culture and travel website Seoulistic.com has generated much chatter for its sarcastic take on aspects of Korean cultural behavior that foreigners regard as odd.

The author, Ken Lee, is a London-born teacher currently living in Gwangju who is carving out a presence in the blogosphere.

Some of Lee's observations could use a 21st century update; no, most Koreans will not always expect you to share your food with them. And it's rare to see a woman scolded for dressing too sexily these days.

To be fair, Lee does provide some tips that would allow foreigners to convey an impression they are appreciative of the local culture, although in many cases they might overdo it.

No. 1 on Lee's list to avoid is "sitting on elderly seats in subways." If all seats on a subway are taken except those at the far end that are reserved for the elderly, should you go and take it?

Not unless you want a "big scolding from an elderly person," Lee says, recalling how he witnessed a young woman who sat on a senior's seat getting an earful from an old man until she finally stood up and left.

A great deal of Lee's advice is related to Korean table manners. No. 11 on his list, for example, is a child "not setting up utensils" on the table.

Korean parents teach their children dining etiquette from a very young age, Lee observes. This includes setting up chopsticks, spoons, bowls, saucers and napkins and pouring water in every glass.

Although Koreans don't expect foreigners to respect all of these customs, knowing them is yet "another chance to make a good impression as well as to become more culturally enriched," Lee claims.

At the dinner table, children should neither eat nor leave before their elders, Lee cautions in Nos. 9 and 12. They must eat at a similar pace as the others and wait until everybody is finished before leaving the table.

No. 2 on Lee's no-no list is "sticking your chopsticks in your rice." "In traditional Asian culture, people usually stick ‘incense sticks' upright in a bowl of sand at funerals as part of ancestor worship and it is believed to be food for the spirits. Sticking your chopsticks in a bowl of rice reminds people of that," Lee says.

Even though the practice seems like ancient superstition, Lee advices avoiding it because it is like "trying to say your friends at the table are already dead."

When it comes to food, Koreans often share with each other out of a moral belief, more specifically, the concept of "jeong,'' which Lee describes as "a special kind of love between people and society." If you don't share, you will be seen as greedy, with little or no "jeong,'' he warns in No. 14.

While blowing one's nose in public is acceptable in the West, Lee advises to avoid it in Korea, especially on the dinner table, at all costs, No. 6.

Lee also provides advice on the art of drinking soju, Korea's famous distilled beverage, in Nos. 3 and 4.

If you are offered a shot of soju or beer by a Korean older than you, you should take it as a "sort of ritual of respect and friendship," Lee says. Even if you don't intend to drink the alcoholic beverages, you should still "drink along'' with water or other options. "Rather than the beverage itself, the ritual is seen as most important."

Lee tells readers that refusing the shot can be "very offending to Koreans as it may look as though you don't want to be their friend!"

Also when drinking with an elderly person, make sure to turn your head sideways from the person, Lee adds. Turning the head is a sign of respect to a person who has seniority over you.

No. 5 on the list is "don't write names in red ink." As another Korean superstition, Lee warns that writing a name in red means that the person "will die soon or you want (him or her) to die."

He explains, "This is because a long time ago the names of the deceased were written in red on registers, gravestones and plaques to ward off evil spirits."

To women, Lee says in No. 18 not to wear clothing that exposes their shoulder blades because such dressing is considered too "sexual'' or revealing, more so than miniskirts.

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