'Yoon Chang-jung: the aide who grabbed me'

By Kim Tong-hyung

Here’s your midweek update on the stories in entertainment and media you might have missed while reading about the sex-obsessed power elite, their ass-groping presidential spokesman, or because your life is probably a lot more fulfilling than ours.

Midweek roundup:

In case you missed it

Disgraced Yoon and his famous last words

He showed his junk and was shown the door. / Yonhap

We usually use this column to collect the quirky, spicy or obscure tidbits that get lost in the week’s news cycle. But Cheong Wa Dae’s epic fail last week, triggered by now-canned presidential spokesman Yoon Chang-jung allegedly groping a young American assigned to help him, was so appalling that we had to join the fray.

Where do we begin with the 56-year-old former journalist, who on the eve of what was supposed to be the greatest moment of Park Geun-hye’s short presidential career, her speech at the U.S. Congress, grabbed the buttocks of the Korean embassy employee “without her permission” after some late-night drinks at a Washington hotel; called her to his room hours later where he awaited in a “no-panty” state; became petrified after U.S. police got involved; either fled or was sent back home while President Park and the rest of her delegation continued from Washington to Los Angeles; called an emergency news conference in Seoul and denied sexually harassing the hapless “guide;” blamed the incident on “cultural differences;” claimed he never called the intern to his room; was surprised to see her there, shouted for her to leave; wore underwear when this happened; only to confess to Cheong Wa Dae investigators privately that, yes, he touched the woman’s buttocks, and no, he wasn’t wearing any underwear when opening the door to her?

And that was probably the longest sentence written in the 63 years of this newspaper.

A massive amount of ink has been already spent on this story, which will continue to dominate headlines unless Park Chung-hee rises from the dead. So we would like to finish this part of the column by printing some memorable quotes Yoon left as the presidential press secretary and during his earlier career as an opinionated conservative pundit.

“(As I rose from my seat) I just tapped (her) once in the back and there was no sexual intent ... I regret that I lacked sufficient understanding of American culture and extend my sincere apologies to the guide.” (May 11, 2013, during his Seoul news conference on the sexual harassment allegations)

“There is nothing for you to write about. There is no information journalistically meaningful that you should know about. Whether certain information is journalistically valuable or not is determined by me, the spokesman, not the media.” (Jan. 11, 2013, responding to reporters’ questions at the presidential transition committee)

“Park Geun-hye (then Saenuri Party leader) should be aware that Korean people are overstressed with news after news of lunatics raping or sexually assaulting women. The party should employ its harshest measures to punish Kim.” (April 18, 2012, in a column on the harassment allegations surrounding former Saenuri Party lawmaker Kim Hyung-tae)

“The spokesman of Cheong Wa Dae isn’t simply a mouthpiece, but a face and alter-ego that embodies the class of the president and administration he serves.” (April 25, 2006, in a column criticizing Kim Man-soo, then-press secretary of late former President Roh Moo-hyun)

It’s impossible to take Byun off this list

Byun Hee-jae

These are difficult times to find a person who would stand and fight in Yoon’s corner. But rising to the occasion is bug-eyed conservative pundit Byun Hee-jae, who regularly appears in this column and is probably the only person in Korea capable of being as sad and stupid as Yoon.

Tweeting after Yoon’s news conference in Seoul, Byun claimed that the former presidential spokesman was being victimized in a conspiracy spawned by North Korea sympathizers, his permanent and often imaginary enemies.

Byun wondered whether Missy USA (www.missyusa.com), an online community of Korean-American women where the allegations surrounding Yoon were first published, was involved in orchestrating the supposed plot to dent the Park administration and national dignity. He was also critical about Cheong Wa Dae, which he believed was hanging Yoon out to dry.

“This is not about just the intern who was assisting Yoon, but also the other intern who wrote away on Missy USA’s message boards that Yoon was a rapist ... Did the Korean Embassy in Washington appoint members of the North Korea-sympathizing, Roh Moo-hyun-loving website, Missy USA, to assist Cheong Wa Dae people?” he asked.

“It’s fortunate for Yoon that he is no longer with Cheong Wa Dae, which refuses to protect a soldier who is out there fighting for his country and discards him instead.”

Byun has cemented himself as Korea’s most annoying Internet personality, practically building his career throwing Twitter tantrums at famous people like culture critic Jin Jung-kwon, Nancy Lang, and most recently Lee Si-young, an actress aspiring to become an Olympic boxer.

Park Si-hoo

Does anyone remember the Park Si-hoo rape case?

It was earlier this year when actor Park Si-hoo, coming off a movie where he played a serial killer that becomes a national heartthrob because of his good looks, was accused of allegedly raping a 22-year-old aspiring actress late Monday.

The woman had claimed that Park raped her after sharing a late-night drink on the eve of Valentine’s Day. Park admitted that he had sex with the woman but claimed it was consensual. The woman, without elaborating, withdrew her lawsuit against Park last week, so the case is practically over.