By Park Si-soo
Staff Reporter
A 23-year-old Shin Suk-kyun was recently scolded at a private educational institute or hagwon for not doing his ``home assignment'' of approaching a woman in the street and obtaining her mobile phone number.
``I've repeatedly told you to not be afraid to fail,'' instructor Kim Byong-chul yelled. ``You can learn more by trial and error. Please remember the rules I taught you and act based on them.''
Kim's admonition continued for a couple of minutes, while two other 30-something ``students'' who did the homework studied a 10-page reference book Kim had doled out, highlighting some paragraphs, scratching their heads and mumbling to themselves.
The twice-a-week lesson on ``how to find a girl friend'' at what Kim claims is the nation's first hagwon of its kind began at 7:30 p.m., Monday, at a classroom in Yeoksam-dong, southern Seoul.
Kim, the chief instructor, who established the institute in 2007, said about five or six other institutes of this kind are now operating in Seoul.
``The number of phone calls for consultation increased nearly three times in December,'' he said. A total of 25 students ― including some women ― in their late 20s and 30s, are taking a variety of tailor-made courses including textbook-based, one-to-one mentoring, field training and mock blind dates.
Some may presume most of those attending the courses are ugly, with eccentric personalities, or incompetent. ``That's really untrue,'' the instructor said. In fact, the three students in the classroom were good-looking, masculine and earn good salaries.
The main subject of Monday's lesson was: ``How to approach a beautiful woman.''
The first hour of the two-hour lesson was text-book based.
``How do you give a targeted woman a good feeling about you and obtain her cell phone number to contact her?'' Kim asked. ``First, make her laugh. If she does, it's half a success.''
The 38-year-old with a diploma in psychology urged the students to act naturally, even if they were nervous.
``Don't become obsessed with the result. Also don't be too happy when you are successful. This is just the very first step toward your ultimate goal of making her your girlfriend and maintaining a relationship for a long time,'' Kim said.
Following a 15-minute coffee break, the second segment of the lesson ― a case study ― kicked off. Providing examples at three venues ― a beauty salon, a hospital and a coffee shop ― he said all skills taught were based on the dozens of experiences of the three instructors.
``All the tactics I will teach you have more than a 50 percent success rate,'' he said. The students nodded, smiling.
``In winter, one efficient way to approach a beauty salon worker is talking to her with a hot, bottled coffee. Bottled is better than canned because the former is better in giving her the sense that you are warm-hearted,'' he said, citing psychological theory. ``If you don't know anything about your target woman, just buy a bottle of caramel macchiato at Starbucks. I've never seen a woman who disliked it.''
The lesson officially ended around 9:30 p.m., but a heated question and answer session continued until 10:30 p.m.
One of the course-takers, a 35-year-old office worker man asked how to approach a woman at the same workplace.
Shin, an undergraduate of Sejong University in Seoul who has never had a romance with a woman, said he had been too shy to talk to the types of women he likes at first sight, but the lessons helped him a lot.
``I'm still hesitant to talk to a strange woman, but I have found I'm getting better thanks to the class,'' he said.
According to a recent survey of 572 unmarried men and women by a matchmaking agency, more than 87 percent of the respondents selected ``feeling'' as their top priority in choosing a dating partner, and nearly one third of them answered what they called ``good feeling'' was largely attributable to ``dating skills.''
Experts say dating skills are what people can naturally learn through relaxing and taking part in other outdoor activities with friends, but today's living and working conditions that have changed from communal to solo environments have deprived people of such opportunities.
``By spending time together, an individual can learn how he or she is viewed. Such lessons help them know how to attract people of the opposite sex,'' said sociology professor Bae Eun-kyung of Seoul National University. ``People's lessened exposure to group experiences compared to the past, I think, has played an important role in the emergence of the business.''
The date coach agreed with the idea, saying many of those seeking consultation commonly complain they always remain tight-lipped before an attractive person.
``They don't even know how to open talks with them,'' Kim said. ``Without skills on how to start the basic means of communication, being closer is all but impossible.''
He said what he is teaching will be useful in finding a girl or boyfriend, but will also be helpful in widening their human network.
The instructor, who claims he has had dozens of girlfriends, said the ultimate goal of the education is to help students catch ``what women want, and what men want.''
``That is the simple but unchanging answer to those struggling to find a partner,'' he confidently said. ``All techniques and skills I teach here are to uncover a partner's invisible demand as quickly as possible.''
Asked if such techniques really work, he simply answered, ``That's the most frequently asked question. My answer is definitely!''
His cell phone rang at around 11 p.m. a call from a person seeking a consultation. The first question the caller asked him was, ``Does it really work?''
pss@koreatimes.co.kr
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