By Jane Han
Staff Reporter
The process of getting married is all about give and take, or so 29-year-old Lim has heard repeatedly from friends, who've already gone down the aisle. But she can now speak for herself after recently making a grand deal with her soon-to-be husband.
Lim agreed not to accept jewelry, a big part of ``ham'' or gifts the groom's family traditionally give to the bride, in exchange for not having to send money to her in-laws.
In return for the ham, the bride's family typically sends ``yedan,'' which nowadays is becoming more commonly sent in the form of money, rather than goods. The average yedan ranges from five to seven million won, of which the groom's family usually sends half the amount back to the bride.
``It's a lot of pressure to keep up with new tradition,'' says Lim, who added that eliminating some of the formalities is saving the couple 10 to 12 million won.
As a tightening job market, shrinking salaries and economic uncertainties cast a shadow over couples preparing to get married, more and more are looking to economize the multi-part wedding procedure.
According to Duo Wed, a Seoul-based wedding consultancy, single men and women have become bolder about breaking away from tradition. Almost 270 respondents who were asked what part of the procedure they wanted to eliminate said the engagement ceremony should be the first thing to go.
However, brides and grooms differed on the items they would eliminate.
A majority of men said they would skip ham, followed by the engagement ceremony and yedan, while most women singled out the engagement ceremony, followed by ``ibaji,'' or a bundle of food the bride's family prepares for the groom's family, and yedan.
``Men want to eliminate things that they're expected to pay for and women want to cross out things that they're obligated to cover,'' said a Duo spokeswoman.
Brides and grooms have a relatively clear list of expenses they each need to shoulder. Tradition has men paying for ham and a place to live after marriage, while women are expected to cover the costs for the engagement ceremony, yedan, ibaji and furniture and home appliances to fill up the home.
According to a recent data by Sunoo, a matchmaking firm, an average couple jointly spends a total of 172 million won on getting married, almost double the amount that was needed six years ago.
``The reality is that many couples are putting off weddings because they don't have money,'' said a Sunoo official, who added that too many unnecessary formalities have slipped into the wedding process over the years.
jhan@koreatimes.co.kr
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