By Jane Han
Staff Reporter
He calls at least once a week and text messages more often than that, but almost never asks to meet. So what does 28-year-old Choi do with the man she once categorized as her potential boyfriend?
"Downright ignore," says the single woman, who, after three years of active dating, labels herself a pro in sniffing out men "who play tricks to keep women around" as candidates for future relationships.
"It is so obvious when a man treats a woman like a backup," said Choi. "There's a lot of talk, but no real action to get a relationship going."
It never feels good to be under the "maybe good for later" category, she said, but admits that she classifies certain men the same way.
And this isn't abnormal in today's competitive singles market, say officials of Duo, the country's leading matchmaking firm.
"Men and women want to make sure they thoroughly observe and evaluate their potential spouse," said Kim Sun-ah, a Duo spokeswoman, "so they keep good candidates around and meet them simultaneously without making any real commitment."
For a better understanding of the dating trend, the professional matchmaker asked 714 single men and women whether they've been under the so-called special management treatment, and an overwhelming majority said they have.
Almost 94 percent of women and 99 percent of men answered "yes," according to the survey.
Respondents singled out "saying meaningful words implying a future" as the No. 1 method used to "manage" the opposite sex. Next on the list were consistent phone calls and text messages, and periodic dates.
"The key is to remain free from a committed relationship," said Kim, "but meeting too many people at once breaks up the attention that needs to be given to one person."
And there is always the possibility of getting caught for playing the clever dating trick.
More than 64 percent of male respondents said they know when they're only considered a backup when a woman constantly cancels a date.
Meanwhile, nearly 33 percent of female respondents said they start getting suspicious once a man only calls or texts, without asking for a real date.
The poll also showed that a majority of singles don't want to be considered a just-in-case candidate, while they themselves desire to keep many potentials around.